Operation Active

Two in One

2008-10-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

My weight is going down (yay!) but my mileage is not going up. No no no, it is not. I also didn't run over the weekend at all. I need to make time for a four mile run sometime soon.

Thursday 10/10/08
156 lbs
2 miles
? time

Monday 10/13/08
157 lbs
3 miles
33 minutes 25 seconds

Slower than I thought

2008-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

159 lbs (!)
3 miles
33 minutes 25 seconds

OMG Hills

2008-10-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

158 lbs
3 miles
37 minutes

Up up up to Alamo Square Park, around the park, down down down to home.

Hot dog and Junior Mints for dinner = not a weight loss strategy.

Painful but okay morning run

2008-10-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

? lbs
3 miles
31 minutes 42 seconds

I tried to run 10 minute miles, but couldn't keep it up. Also, weightlifting yesterday made my muscles sore which made today's run hurt hurt.

Slow short crappy run

2008-09-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

157 lbs
2 miles
24 minutes

Outdoor run along the Embarcadero

2008-09-27T09:50:00.001-07:00

Taking the subway somewhere just to go running felt weird, but the run itself was far more enjoyable than just running in my neighborhood.

157 lbs
3 miles
33 minutes

Early morning workouts, I almost forgot what you felt like

2008-09-25T09:12:00.001-07:00

157 lbs
3 miles
32 minutes 37 seconds

Half Marathon? Maybe.

2008-09-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

157 lbs
3 miles
33 minutes 17 seconds

Andre invited me to join him and Kathleen in running a half marathon in January. I'm not currently planning on doing that, yet. But I did print out a training regimen. We'll see how it goes.

What Do I Want?

2008-08-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today I filled out the survey about maintaining weight loss that the (insert name of study that I can't remember right now here) Study sends me every year. I was proud to report that for the 5th year in a row I maintained my weight loss (within 5 pounds is their mainenance criteria, but I actually didn't deviate at all).

The survey contains hundreds of well thought out questions, about how and how much you eat, exercise, portion sizes, if you are usually hungry all the time, questions to measure your stress and anxiety levels, etc. But what gave me pause this year, like last year, was the question "Are you currently trying to lose weight?" I answered "Yes," since I kinda sorta am. But let's be honest here: I'm actually sabotaging myself daily.

Let's take today for example. I rode my bike to and from the train station (on the San Francisco side) for a total of 5 miles of biking (good). I did not go to the gym, partly because my gym buddy was too busy and partly because I'm lazy and partly because I justified it saying my bike ride was good enough (not even close) (bad). I ate dessert at lunch, even though it wasn't that tasty. I ate a lot of chocolate covered peanuts from the mini-kitche. I drank two cups of coffee. I did not get enough sleep.

This kind of day bears little resemblance to the days that made me lose fourty pounds in the first place. I know what to do in order to low weight, but I'm not doing it. Why not? I don't really know. I wish I knew how to find out.

Skin of my Teeth

2008-01-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

I was utterly convinced that I would lose $15 this week, but just like last week I squeaked by and lost exactly one pound. I've been eating fairly clean at work, but it's the weekends that are enabling me to keep this up.

This week will separate the girls from the women, however. To get the moving average of my weight down to 148.9 lbs (today's target) I weighed in at 147 lbs this morning. I've never maintained a weight that low for very long, though clearly I would like to. I'll have to weight in at 147 lbs every day for a week to make next Monday's target of 147.9 lbs.

I almost wrote that "I would desperately like to", but clearly that's an exaggeration. Since I'm quite well aware of what steps I need to take to lose more weight, if I were desperate to do so I would have done it already.

Any suggestions for followup goals? I'm thinking of a week or two of weight loss maintenance, potentially followed by trying to lose another 3 pounds.

Money as Motivator

2008-01-21T16:57:00.000-08:00

As Andre can already tell by the fact that he's not $15 richer, I succeeded in losing one pound this week. Hooray!

The threat of losing $15 was a powerful motivator, and many times over the week I chose not eat when I was stressed but not hungry. As usual, I'm reminded now that I feel physically better when I'm a little lighter, when I'm eating simple whole foods, when less food is going through my system.

Okay, one week down, two to go.

Stick to your Goals

2008-01-14T18:26:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the power of accountability and goals. Two years ago when I was training for a triathlon, I was not only becoming a faster runner and swimmer and cycler at a frightening pace, but I was at my lifetime lowest adult weight, and I felt great! It was a lot of work, but I also knew that every hour of training would make the race that much easier to complete. That race made me accountable, and I rose to the task by squeezing as much out of my training sessions and nutrition as I could.

I haven't had a goal that I'm adequately accountable for in a long time, and my eating and exercise have suffered. Some days I feel like eating well and exercising intensely, and others I don't, and I have only my willpower to rely on. Even the two weight loss contests at work, where real money was on the line, didn't do the trick.

So last week when I was invited into the stickK beta I signed up, hoping that it would help. The idea is simple: create a goal, set a penalty for not meeting that goal, and check in at regular intervals.

It's the penalties that are really unique to stickK. You pledge to pay REAL MONEY every week that you fail in your goal. You can send your money to charity, anti-charity (a cause you disagree with), a friend, or a foe. Wow!

I created a weight loss goal, but didn't set any monetary stakes since I was just trying the system out. But when I checked in for the first time last Friday with a failure, and it told me that I would have had to pay a penalty if I had set one up, I honestly freaked out a little. Maybe once a week check-ins with something actually at stake can help me resist the lunchtime cupcakes and reach 138 lbs.

I'm going to set up a new weight loss goal in stickK right now. In the spirit of small attainable goals, I want to lose 3 pounds in 3 weeks. I'm going to give $15 to Andre every time I fail at my weekly goal.

Here we go!

(Note: my starting weight and check-in weights will be the moving average of my weight in Physics Diet.)

Start your year with 'No Excuses'

2008-01-02T13:21:00.001-08:00

Work Weightloss Contest: Finished

2007-12-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

I spent the last half of the weight loss contest gaining then losing a few pounds, so I only lost 4 pounds in 6 weeks instead of the 6 pounds I was hoping for. However, my moving average weight is now just a hair below 150 lbs, which was another goal I had and feels pretty good to have hit.

I've relearned that even if I'm not trying to lose weight, I maintain a lower weight if I track the food I eat than when I don't. So I'll keep tracking and aim for "Permission to splurge on buying luxurious yarn" by the end of the year. :)

How to be hard as nails

2007-11-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't used my bicycle to get to and from the train station for my commute in months. I use the bus and work shuttle instead. It's only 12 miles a day, in four chunks. I know lots of folks here who are still biking, and A is still biking in Chicago for crying out loud. Still, I haven't made any effort to get back on the bike.

Then this morning I read How to be hard as nails, and #1 on the list is "Train outdoors in all weathers. Rain, wind, snow, hail. Train when other people just stay in bed." And here I am letting a little thing like 50 degree weather keep me in the warm bus and off the bike.

Time to buy some cold weather biking gear.

Work Weightloss Contest: Halfway

2007-11-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

So far I've lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks in the work weightloss contest. If I keep this up I'll lose a total of 6 pounds, or 4% of my starting weight (of 154 pounds). Beat that, Samo!

Coming down with a nasty cold and losing my appetite kept me out the gym but also made me lose a few pounds. I kept losing through the rest of the week, even through Thanksgiving and airplanes and no gym time. This week I'll be back at work, back in the gym, and aiming to bring the moving average of my weight under 150 pounds.

Work Weightloss Contest

2007-11-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

6 weeks: November 2nd to December 14th
Winner Take All: $100 even is on the line
Percentage Loss: Whoever loses the largest percentage of their starting weight wins.
Hidden Agenda: Those pesky last 14 pounds have got to go.

I started out with good momentum, and have stalled this week. My focus is going to the gym every day, and eating no more than 1500 calories a day. My average daily intake is currently 1900 calories, so that's where I'm focusing.

Three cheers for feedback

2007-08-28T21:34:00.000-07:00

Ever so slowly and steadily I am, almost too slowly to detect, losing weight. If it weren't for Physics Diet's charts I think I would have lost my motivation weeks ago, but I can see, nearly ever day, that my average weight is going down. And although nearly every morning it feels like I'm making no progress at all, the graph of my weight in the last 30 days clearly shows that I'm now losing 0.32 pounds a week, up from 0.22 pounds a week a few weeks ago.

I still eat (what feels like) a lot of junk many afternoons, but I'm doing better. Seeing the results of my hard work and sacrifice is unbelievably motivating. Anyone at all who is trying to reach weight or body fat goals should track their progress this way.

Rewards

2007-08-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

Oh my lord. Looking back over some of my entries from the past 12 months, I've made no progress at all. I still have all the same goals and problems. Blah. Anyway, here is an update rewards list:

(note: June 2006 version and October 2005 version)

148 lbs (again)

Permission to splurge on buying luxurious yarn

145 lbs

fitness test at gym

143 lbs

Long weekend getaway (wine country?)

140 lbs

(need a goal)

138 lbs

New (folding?) bicycle of my dreams

GOAL!

Momentum gained

2007-08-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks have been pretty solid weight loss. Last month I lost .1 pounds a week, but in the last two weeks I've increased that to .22 pounds a week. I've been eating within my calorie limits, not eating junk, and exercising every day. Except for last Saturday, which was a junk food fest galore. But I wasn't very hungry the next day and I think it sorted itself out quite naturally.

I found a very motivational picture which I downloaded, then created an automated process on my computer (cron job, for the geeks) to have the picture pop up on my screen every hour through the usually very snacking heavy afternoon hours. It's been quite effective. On more than one occassion I've thought of the picture while in the snack room and asked myself "Do I want these chips or that body?" and put the chips back down.

I've drawn M into it a bit as well, and asked him to not offer me beer and cookies for a while. He's being very understanding.

So, I now have a much happier, determined, positive direction. Horray!

I feel lame

2007-07-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

I feel pretty lame right now, posting for the first time in a month only to say that my progress has pretty bad because I've been eating doughnuts for breakfast and cookies for dinner. Okay, I'll buck up and be honest:

The good:
* I've been going to the gym on a very regular basis
* Since my last post (a month ago) I've lost weight, not gained

The bad:
* I've only lost half a pound.
* I've only lost half a pound because I have sometimes been having doughnuts at breakfast and three cookies and a beer for dinner.
* In other words, I have only myself to blame.

Does this sound like dedication to anyone? Commitment? Goal-oriented thinking? Yeah, I didn't think so. I'm doing a lot of thinking and reading about being mindful with my eating, so I sure know what I'm doing wrong. I'm tracking all my food intake, so I can sure see the cause and effect in action. But have I been doing less of the bad to see more of the good? No, not really.

As I often do when I'm feeling down on myself for my most recent eating transgressions, I have been looking at charts of my weight loss and gain, which I've been tracking since 2001. After I pat myself on the back for not having lost forty pounds in what is becoming more and more the misty past, I get down to looking at more recent ups and downs. Since roughly three years ago, when I finished my last big weight loss effort, I've cycled up and down in weight a few times, roughly 152 lbs +/- 4 lbs. Here, here's the chart I'm looking at right now.

I've made no secret of my desire to ultimately get my weight down to 138 pounds. But it's pretty. damn. clear. that if I don't actually change my habits substantially that I'll never get there. Instead, I'll keep bumping around the 156-148 pound box, enjoying my beer and cookies and sometimes looking into the mirror and wishing I didn't have a belly roll. And there's nothing wrong or less about that outcome, if I wanted it. But I want 138 pounds and I'm not doing any of the things necessary to get there.

In other words, I have a serious motivation problem. Blah.

Dedication, and Thanks

2007-06-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Samo for getting me into the work gym this morning at 7:15am (which required me to get up at 5:30am, catch the 6:10am train, and bike for half an hour). Then to lift heavy things in a dedicated fashion for an hour before showering and THEN, finally having breakfast.

This extreme measure was necessary because I'll be at an "offsite work meeting" for 2.5 hours through lunch, which is our usual workout time. And the gym is shutting off the showers at 3pm for maintenance. So it was morning or smelly, and we chose morning.

I can feel the sore starting already. :)

Deliciously Sore

2007-06-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

For the last week I've been weight lifting with a Plan instead of just performing whatever random exercises I felt like. Samo, poor soul, went along for the ride. This led to about a week of very sore muscles for both of us. Ah, the pain of renewed effort. :)

That that part is over, thankfully. Now I can focus on these short term goals:
* Stick to the Plan
* Be able to do an unassisted pull-up (I used to be able to... years ago)
* Perfecting my form on the squat (I don't go down low enough)

and these long term goals:
* That killer back I was talking about
* Losing those 9-17 pounds (now 7-15 pounds)

Oh, yeah: I'm losing weight again, which is nice. A little slower than I'd like to be, which isn't as nice. But headed in the right direction at least.

A Plan

2007-06-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

Over in my other blog, I wrote a meme entry about things I'd do if I had time. After writing the list, I realized that there were a few things on it that I could make time for right now. One of those was to make an exercise plan so that my workouts are more focused and effective.

See, I've had a few vague fitness goals in my head for the last few months:
1. Lose 9-17 pounds.
2. Have killer back muscles so I'll look kick-ass in whatever backless dress I chose for my wedding.

But I wasn't doing much in the way of focused action to reach those goals. So I spend an hour this morning and made A Plan. Then I printed it out, took it to the gym, and started using it. I left the gym feeling more "worked out" than any time (outside of spinning class days) for the last few weeks.

Progress.

SparkPeople

2007-06-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

My last post was over a month ago. In it, I talked about not being able to lose the weight I gained when I got back from my vacation in Thailand, about overeating at work, and I admitted that I wasn't really doing much to rectify the situation. Since then I've gained another half pound. This morning I weighed 155lbs.

Last night I decided to get serious. I at least want to get back to 148lbs, and wouldn't it be nice to finally reach my goal of 138lbs as well? In the past when I've lost weight it's structure that helps me out the most, that keeps me motivated and making good decisions when bad food choices are staring me down. I did a bit of googling, but got sidetracked and didn't have a plan by the end of the evening.

Then, this morning, my sister told me about the site SparkPeople, which helped her get over her weigh loss plateau. It's one of those community/food and activity tracking web sites, like most others. I signed up, latching onto my small amount of momentum and my sister's. We'll see how it goes.

This is what I was meant to do this time last year when I got above 150lbs, to prevent me from getting to 155lbs in the first place. I did try to watch what I ate, and tracked my food for a bit, but I was never disciplined and regimented about it. So this time I will be.

Status Quo

2007-04-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged much because not much of note has been going on. Still working out on a regular basis, but without any particular goal in mind. Samo and I do the crossfit workouts when they aren't crazy, and sometimes when they are. I'm in good shape, and getting stronger slowly, but I haven't really pushed myself for a while.

I went for a long hike this weekend and it was nice to be in great shape and not worry about holding the other person back. I remember the first long hike I ever took... it was a large group of people, and when it became clear that I was by far the slowest of the bunch my friend R stayed behind with me. I was so slow I'd have been all on my own otherwise. I huffed and puffed my way through eventually, but I was embarrassed and disappointed with myself that it had been so hard. I had thought I was in good shape until that hike. Fast forward five years, and I hold my own quite nicely thank you.

I haven't been able to shake the weight that came back on after my trip to Thailand. I've gained over half a pound a week for three months. That's strictly my food intake at work. I'm kinda sorta working on that. I know that I've been eating more volume and worse quality. The bags of chips from the mini-kitchens morphed from unappetizing to a daily treat somehow. It's probably partially stress related. Acknowledging that isn't the same as stopping, though.

The Escape

2007-03-21T10:02:00.001-07:00

Someday, if I work hard and eat all my steak, I'll be able to do this.

Same Max

2007-03-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

Friday was a CrossFit rest day, but I weight lifted anyway. Saturday was a CrossFit "figure out your max lift for squats, shoulder press, and dead lift" but I didn't have the gym available and didn't exercise at all that day. Sunday I bicycled a bit, to get from point A to B, and could have done the CrossFit WOD but didn't because I didn't get around to it.

Today Samo and I weight lifted, and I forgot to look at what the WOD was before heading to the gym. Along with our weightlifting routines, we also lifted bench press to find our maximums. We both maxed out at the same weights as before, which is kind of disappointing, though I didn't lift for most of February.

Today's CrossFit WOD I should go back to the gym and do, but I'm pretty sure I won't.

CrossFit

2007-03-15T17:54:00.000-07:00

I ran 3 miles today, and my knee felt much better. Finally. (.5 mi @ 6 mph, 1.75 mi @ 6.5 mph, remaining .75 mi decended from 6 mph to 5.5 mph)

Then I did today's CrossFit WOD: Deadlifts, 7 set of 3 reps. I lifted 1 set @ 65 lbs, 3 sets @ 75 lbs, and 3 sets @ 85 lbs. I started at a low weight and raised it slowly because I actually only recently added deadlifts to my regular routine and am still working on my form. I tend to let my knees come over my feet, which isn't good for my knees or my back. I actually do the same thing when I squat. Boo.

2007-03-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm back to my pre-vacation weight, plus some. Too many calories. Well intentioned mornings that turn into mini-kitchen raiding afternoons. Boo.

Today, after thinking about it off and on ever since I heard of it, I did the CrossFit Workout of the Day. Today was handstand push-ups and pull-ups which turned into modified push-ups and assisted pull-ups for little ol' me. I did those after my two mile treadmill run, where I babied my poor aching knee by stretching for half a minute or so between each half mile. Darn knee.

Tomorrow's WOD is deadlifts. Hooray for deadlifts! Those I can do.

Shrek fights childhood obesity

2007-02-22T21:38:00.000-08:00

HHS Partners with Ad Council and DreamWorks to Combat Childhood Obesity

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the Ad Council joined with DreamWorks Animation SKG today to launch a new series of public service advertisements (PSAs) designed to help address childhood obesity. Featuring characters from the movie Shrek, the PSAs are an extension of HHS’ ongoing “Small Step” Childhood Obesity Prevention campaign, which encourages children and families to lead healthy lifestyles.

Watch the video

Thailand and Cambodia

2007-02-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Travel to a few out of the way countries for a few weeks, eat and drink and hike and walk and don't think about calories in or out. Lose two pounds. Desk jobs are bad for my waistline.

Silver, Tired, Thailand

2007-01-26T08:57:00.000-08:00

I finally earned a Silver Medal, almost two months behind schedule. Blah.

I've lost a few pounds during this 8 week weight loss challenge I organized at work. It didn't motivate me much at all, I'm afraid. It was a nice idea, though. Blah. I hope Samo wins; she has a very good chance.

I'm tired of the whole thing, I guess. With my finite energy I've been focusing more on work and my partner moving in with me and my upcoming trip to Thailand. I've been exercising a lot, eating decently usually, but sometimes sharing cookie or a pint of (soy) ice cream with M. It's stress eating, plain and simple. But my weight is still going down, though very slowly. And I weight lift and run on a regular basis. So I'm having a hard time caring much right now.

Speaking of Thailand, I'm going there for 18 days starting next week. I'm going to eat, drink, sleep, walk, and not worry about any of this. Weight, work, or otherwise.

Could be better

2007-01-11T17:42:00.000-08:00

Ei-Nyung asked me how my latest weight loss challenge is going, and I said it could be going better. Here's my weight chart for the last three weeks, since my last blog entry:

I lost weight steadily through the holiday. Horray! This isn't surprising, actually: I eat less at home than I do at work. Since coming back to work on January 3rd my weight has been flat, despite going to the gym every week day. More proof for you, Seppo, that the food you take in is WAY more important than the exercise you do. It's been easier to get the gym every day than to stop myself from eating 600 calories of cookies and trail mix and chocolates and whatnot nearly every day.

I did a small "talk to myself in the mirror, today is all you can control" pep talk this morning. Went to the spinning class at lunch. Ate two cookies in the afternoon.

I don't know the answer, really. I know I can lose more weight if I really want to. Maybe I don't really want to. I've lost $10, that's pretty much the only thing I know right now.

Back to center

2006-12-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like, weight wise, 2005 and 2006 were a wash. I gained, I lost, I gained.

I was losing weight steadily through 2005, then holding steady when I started training for my triathlon. The line started going back up when I met my boyfriend in March, then it got worse as I overdid the carb loading and "recovery eating" before and after my triathlon. I've held the line around 152 since then.

The 8 week challenge is working pretty well at controlling my eating. Lots of salads at lunch time, not as many cookies as I might be having otherwise. I've been purely in the green (weight trending down) since the challenge started. Mindful eating and consistent exercise will keep me there. I'll get to 138 lbs once and for all.

Maxes

2006-12-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

Remember when I complained that my theoretical one rep max weights for squat and benchpress put me in the "Novice" category according to a particular weightlifting website? Turns out, they were pretty much right.

Today Samo and I found out what our one rep max weights for squat and bench press were. Mine were:

Squat: 135 lbs, or nearly to Intermediate but not quite

Bench Press: 95 lbs, or just above Novice

oh, and:

Pushups: one, after those bench press attempts

Pullups: nearly one. Boo. :(

I actually did two reps at 95 lbs on the bench press, but couldn't budge 100 lbs. And thanks to the fitness trainer at the gym who helped us make a two person spot for the squat. It made me feel safe to try (and fail) to squat 145 lbs.

8 weeks

2006-12-11T10:23:00.000-08:00

Do you see that bar chart on the right, the one that says "39 pounds lost, 14 pounds to go"? It's said that for a long, long time. I'm tired of just thinking about losing those 14 pounds instead of really commiting to it.

So I started an 8 week weight loss challenge here at work. It's very simple: $10 buy in, winner takes all, winner is determined on percentage of total body weight lost. The challenge starts today.

In related news, I'm 83% of my way to a Silver Medal. I think I'll get there by the end of December, but I'll have to work hard.

World's Strongest Dad

2006-11-29T17:10:00.000-08:00

I was catching up on the blog of yet another everyman losing some weight and running some miles, when this entry about an inspirational father-son story caused me to start crying at work. Please be sure to read the story he links to, and watch the video.

Dick Hoyt was a self-described “porker” who had never run more than a mile at a time. Then one day, his wheelchair-bound 11-year-old son wanted to enter a 5-mile charity run to benefit an injured classmate. He struggled, but he managed to push Rick all the way. Rick loved it.

Today, Dick is 65 and Rick is 43. They have run the Boston Marathon 24 times. They’ve completed 212 triathlons, including four 15-hour Ironman events in Hawaii.

Fartlek

2006-11-14T18:11:00.000-08:00

Hey Joe, guess what Samo had me do today? A fartlek run. It kicked my ass.

Novice!

2006-11-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Uh oh. I found a page of Weightlifting Performance Standards. And it turns out... I'm weak! Oh no!

In my last workout I did three sets of ten squats at 95 lbs and nearly three sets of ten bench presses at 70 lbs. According to this calculator that makes my theoretical one rep max 127 lbs and 93 lbs, respectively.

But according to the charts that squat weight and that bench press weight put me barely above novice. Novice!

Okay, I've been pretty haphazard in my weight lifting for the past, um, wow, over a year. Not intentional or directed or focused at all. Kind of like my running training was for a while. Time to dust off that awesome book I have and create a weightlifting plan again.

Health Fair

2006-11-10T13:32:00.000-08:00

We had a health fair here at work, and among other things I had a few measurements taken.

Flexibility was measured with a "sit and reach" test, and I got 20", which put me one category below "Excellent." The personal trainer doing the test said that runners have really tight hamstrings. Yeah, I guess. I use to be more flexible, but since I'm still fairly flexible I just stretch enough to maintain my current level.

Body fat was measured with a three point caliper test. I got 25%... yeah. Well. Here are some random thoughts for my own reference:

Estimates of my body fat percentage based on my BMI don't accurately predict my body fat percentage (the equations put me between 28% and 30%). In other words, I have more lean mass than the average woman my age and my BMI.

If I were to reach my goal weight of 138 lbs without losing any lean mass (currently 114 lbs), I'd have 17% body fat.


Weight BF% Fat Lean
152    25  38  114
147    22  33  114
142    20  28  114
138    17  24  114

Long, High Run

2006-11-04T18:38:00.000-08:00

Today I went for my long run: 5.1 miles in 62 minutes. Eh, so it was slow, but it was consistent! I ran away from my house for exactly 30 minutes and got back to my house in 32 minutes. I also, randomly, went over one the city's highest, steepest hills: Lafayette Square. Oops. From 50 feet above sea level to 378 feet, with some blocks at 25% grade. Whee.

You'll notice by looking at the President's Challenge meter on the right that I haven't made much progress toward my supposed goal. I earned only about 200 points a day on average on October. That really won't cut it. Now I'd have to earn 676 points a day on average for the rest of November to get the Silver Award. I earned about that many today, but I'm not going to run an hour every day for a month.

Still, I'm going to get as far as I can. I think I can still make the goal before the new year.

8 minute mile

2006-11-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

Guess what I just did (mostly)? I (pretty much) ran an 8 minute mile. Whooo hooo!

It was on the treadmill, but at 1% incline, so it counts. What dulls the shine a bit is that three times, for a few seconds each time, I stepped to the side on the treadmill to catch my breath. 7.5 miles per hour is really fast, and I was mentally struggling in the second half. My skin was tingling, and it was just a lot faster than I've ever run for more than a few minutes at a time.

I should do more running drills.

No, Run Faster!

2006-10-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

Samo's running team is hosting this year's USA Track & Field National Club Cross Country Championships this year, on December 9th. She'll be competing in the Open Women's 6 km race, but there is also a Community 6 km race earlier in the day which I'll probably compete in.

I was pretty disappointed in my performance in last month's race; 9:48 minutes per mile? I know I can move faster than that. So does Samo. But instead of really training I've been mostly just running from time to time, and lately not much at all.

So today Samo put me through a real training workout, and it felt fantastic.

0.75 mile warm up at 10 minute miles (6 mph)
0.25 mile at 8:34-8:13 minutes per mile pace (7.0-7.3 mph) x 5 with 0.25 mile recovery in between
0.50 mile cool down

She pushed me, but not too hard, and I pushed myself, and it felt good to be done more than just "putting in my time." 7.3 miles per hour felt good; my legs and lungs felt reasonably comfortable. The last lap was hard, but if I had really needed to I could have done at least one more, so I wasn't completely spent.

Samo says she thinks I can run 8:40 minute miles on December 9th. We'll see. 9 minute miles would be just fine. :)

Maybe, someday, I'll be able to keep up with Mack.

Solidarity (Take 2)

2006-10-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

Last year I decided to forgo NaNoWriMo in favor of staying in shape. I pledged instead to exercise for 50,000 seconds in November (50,000 seconds = 833.33 minutes = 13.89 hours = 28 minutes a day) as a sign of solidarity with my NaNoWriMoing friends. I succeeded in making that goal, and almost all of them succeeded in their NaNoWriMo goals. Yay!

This year I'm aiming a little higher. No, not at NaNoWriMo. I'm pretty sure I still don't have the time. But instead, I pledge this: I will earn a Presidential Champions Silver Award by the end of November.

"Presidential Champion?" you say. Well, back in June (when I used to read this blog), I read a blog entry about The President's Challenge. Just like the blogger I am very goal oriented, so I decided to sign up, log my activity (as if I don't track enough things in enough places already), and see what happened. You log activities to earn points (basically 1 point = 1 calorie burned), and earn points to earn awards.

Since the middle of June I've earned almost exactly a Bronze Award (just 197 points shy). If I pick up the pace and workout rigorously for two months, I can earn 25,000 more points to get a Silver Award. That's about 400 calories a day; rigorous, but doable. Just like NaNoWriMo.

Running good, eating bad

2006-10-02T16:58:00.000-07:00

Run run run. Running run run.

I ran for 40 minutes (3.2 miles) on Sunday, leaving M sleeping in bed again. This time he had his running gear, but was too tired. I ran, showered, ate breakfast, drank coffee, caught up on email, and left to go help a friend move before he woke up.

You might notice that I ran even slower this time than last. That's because I ran EVEN STEEPER hills this time. It wasn't on purpose; I was multitasking. I used a store I had to run an errand (ha ha! get it?) at as the halfway point, and it just so happened that this big massive kill-me hill stood in my way. Yes, those are stairs in the sidewalk. (No, that's not my picture.)

I should challenge Samo to a San Francisco hilly long run in a few months. :)

However, I've been eating like a stuffed pig. I worked out a lot last week, played an hour and a half of broomball on Friday, helped a few friends move on Sunday... I worked up quite an appetite, and I ate every calorie I could get my hands on. Boo. Boo!

My weight has been down up and down this month. I keep telling myself to eat well, and it keeps not working. Nope, not working at all.

Back to Running

2006-09-27T13:33:00.000-07:00

I've gotten back on the running bandwagon. Big thanks to Samo and the Bananachase 5k for that.

I ran for 40 minutes (3.5 miles) on Saturday, leaving M sleeping in bed because he had left his running shoes at home. It was a slow run (I wasn't running for speed), but it was extra slow thanks to the 18+ degree grade San Francisco hills. I felt really great after that run, and thought about lengthening it but I had things to do and people to see.

Monday I ran 2 miles at 10 minutes per mile on the treadmill before my weights workout, and that also felt good.

Tuesday I ran 2.25 miles on the treadmill, but it felt awful. I was nauseous at the half mile mark, and it never really got better. I took a walking break in the middle, then started up jogging again really slowly. It was a bear to get through. :/

Today I'm going to spin or elliptical instead, so as to ease back into this running thing. Samo is an invaluable source of information for me, and endlessly encouraging. I remember when we started workout out together I was so worried that she'd be bored or dissatisfied because I'm not nearly as fit as she is, but it hasn't been that way at all.

Hurray for workout partners and regular exercise!

Bananas!

2006-09-17T18:40:00.000-07:00

This morning I ran in the Banana Chase 5k race. It was a beautiful sunny San Francisco day, just a tad warmer than ideal for running. The premise of the race is to pass as many of the 20 or so runners in banana costumes as you can. I imagine that the main runner pack was more full of bananas to chase down and race against, but I saw very few in the middling slow pack. I ended up passing just four all together.

I was aiming for a 9 minute mile pace (28 minute finish time), but I reaped the rewards of having done almost no training for the last few months and finished in 30:24 minutes instead. That's a 9:48 minute mile pace on average, but the breakdown was 9:22/10:00/11:02(1.1 miles). I was so sad when my second mile was so much slower than my first, but I fulfilled my primary goal of never walking.

Okay, well, I walked. I walked a few steps, but I didn't walk walk, you know? Just a few steps, I swear, then right back to jogging. I purposefully slowed down several times so that I wouldn't have to stop and walk again, and I kept tabs on how my muscles and lungs and legs felt, so I knew I could keep going. The mental game is tough. Samo has told me that races hurt, and I kept that in mind as I struggled through the last mile. I need to get more used to that pain and discomfort. I also have to work on my lung and heart capacities. That means a running a much higher number of miles per week.

M ran the race too, and he did exactly what I thought he would. I called 25 minutes as his finish time, and he finished in 25:10. I said he'd run the first mile too fast, and he says he ran it so much too fast that he had to walk a whole block in the last mile and was unable to sprint the end of the race. We've vowed to run together more often, so that I can take as much advantage of his natural speed to speed me up as I can. Every Sunday we'll go for a run.

And Samo ran the race too. She finished in just over 20 minutes, and found me right after I finished. She and I were buzzing on the adrenaline, but M was just in pain. We stayed to watch the awards, and one of her teammates won the race outright, which was pretty exciting.

Update: M finished 21st out of 29 in his age group (367th overall), and I finished 32nd out of 61 in my age group (566th overall).

Update 2: Pictures!

One week down

2006-08-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm one week into the two week pact with Samo. My behavior hasn't been perfect, but I have been eating much better, and yesterday and today I got just the kind of positive feedback I wanted: Last Monday the scale said 155, and yesterday 151, then today it said 150.

Okay, so the 155 reading was a local maximum. The best way to see the real data is to look at my weight chart for the last month. See that big swath of green on the right? I fully intend to see more of that in the coming weeks.

Two Weeks

2006-08-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

Samo suggested a goal for the next two weeks: She's trying to lose 4 pounds, I'm just trying to follow the rules. Monday I was the very model of perfection. Yesterday less so, having an extra (social) meal and not exercising, but I did alright with food overall.

I've let these extra few pounds hang around long enough. My promise to myself to "go back to strict diet and exercise if I weigh over 150 lbs" has not been kept. I'm at 153 lbs and (slowly) rising. My half-hearted efforts are not good enough.

Two weeks. I can do two weeks.

Plodding Along

2006-08-10T15:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in a while because it seems awfully boring to say "trying to eat better and exercise more, having middling success." But that's a pretty good summation of the last month.

I've been eating better lately. But not so well that I'm losing weight.

I've been running more lately. But not for long enough to see speed improvements.

I've been weight lifting more lately. I've actually started to see some minor improvements.

Still have that race in September.

Still have those pounds to lose.

Plodding along.

If you crave this...

2006-07-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

What you crave, what your body is trying to tell you, and what you should eat instead.

General overeating	Silicon	Nuts, seeds; avoid refined starches
	Tryptophan	Cheese, liver, lamb, raisins, sweat potato, spinach
	Tyrosine	Vitamin C supplements or orange, green, red fruits and vegetables

Which is particularly interesting because I've been gorging lately on the trail mix in the break rooms. Maybe I should stop beating myself up for that, and just stop eating bread and oatmeal? But then how will I run?

*sigh*

Instead, I think I should just get ENOUGH SLEEP at night.

Google 15

2006-07-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

Do you want to track your weight, but hate the idea of going to a specific web page every day to do it? Do you love Google as much as I do? Are you using the Google Personalized Homepage as your browser startup page? Well, you are in luck. There is a new (to me) widget available for the Google homepage called The Google 15 Weight Tracker. There is a longer FAQ about it here. It keeps track of your daily weight for the last two weeks, and creates a little chart of the moving average of your weight. You can easily see if you are gaining, losing, or holding steady.

I'm playing around with it now, and it's pretty neat. I'm too obsessed with going back over my historical weight data to give up using Physics Diet or the Eat Watch, but I've also realized that I have far too many places I write down my weight every day. Keeping them all in synch is a hassle, and even remembering to go to a specific web page every day to log your weight is a real mental barrier to some folks. I love the simplicity of the Google 15 widget, and think it will work really well for people who want a simple and painless view of their weight trend without the extra overhead of yet another website to visit every day.

I <3 Google. :D

138 lbs or bust

2006-07-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

For five months, from early October 2005 to early March 2006, I had a nice steady low weight. In that time I twice nudged my average weight below 148 lbs, a lifetime low. Then, immediately after I met the boyfriend (hmmm...), while I finished triathlon training and then slacked off a bit after the traithlon, I slowly gained weight instead and topped out above 152 lbs in late May. That was six weeks ago, and I've lost a little over a pound since then. Changing the direction of my weight graph from slightly up to slightly down was (mostly mentally) difficult, and now I have to capitalize on it and increase my rate of loss while I still have a positive attitude about the whole thing.

To do that I need to tighten up my eating and stop catching colds and letting little things get in the way of my workouts. Today I was going to skip the 12-1pm spinning class because I had a 1pm meeting, but Samo made me do half of the class instead of skipping it entirely. And by "made me," I mean she came to my desk and started dragging my gym bag towards the door until I followed her. That's the attitude I need every day.

My ultimate goal weight is 138 lbs, and has been for two years. But since I've never been below 147.5 lbs, just getting down to, say, 145 lbs would be a nice thing to try.

As a spur to keep me exercising, I'll be signing up for the Banana Chase 5K road race, taking place on September 15th. It's a local, casual race where I won't embarrass myself by running massively slower than the elite athletes (like Samo). I haven't nailed down a target pace yet, but I'm thinking 8:30 minute miles (26:21 total) would be ambitious but possible.

Comfort

2006-06-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

The boyfriend has the cold I was fighting last week, only multiplied by ten. I went with him to the grocery store last night to help him buy cold medicine and food for today. As we were making our way to the checkout I asked if he wanted anything else, "Any other comfort food?" I said. He said that he's "not really a comfort eater." What I want to know is where the switch to turn off comfort eating in me is.

I eat when I'm comfortable and to give me comfort when I'm not comfortable. In other words, food makes every situation better. The comfort and discomfort and more comfort associated with this new relationship, combined with my relationship with food, explains this graph of my weight since meeting my boyfriend quite nicely.

I've only recently gotten my mind in the right place to exercise and eat well again. Samo's been a really great motivator for me, so thanks Samo! She drags me to the gym and congratulates (or berates ) me on my eating habits. She blows my "you can't lose weight while training" excuse totally out of the water. Inspirational is an understatement.

I've modified my goals a bit to take into account the four pound regain I've suffered since January. Here are my new goals:

148 lbs (again)

bike luggage

145 lbs

fitness test at gym

145 is the new trigger weight

143 lbs

(need a goal)

140 lbs

(need a goal)

140 is the new trigger weight

138 lbs

$500 of frivilous spending

GOAL! (maybe)

Foodaholic

2006-05-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

I stumbled on this random blog entry while NOT looking for food/weight related content, but I found it anyway. Her phrase "a high-functioning foodaholic" really resonates with me.

The analogy of food addiction and alcoholism goes deeper for me than her experience, even; I feel like I'm still addicted to overeating certain foods and binge eating, even though I don't do it anymore, and even though what I call a "binge" these days bares little resemblance to how I used to overeat. I feel like I'm just a few life circumstances away from gorging myself back to 191 pounds. One false move, a few too many days without weighing myself or exercising, and I'd be done for.

I'm exaggerating, but only slightly (for the record, I have never had an eating disorder; I'm talking garden variety binge eating, here). I do feel like I'm a fat person masquerading as an average weight person. I see pictures like this and think "when did I get skinny?"

I've talked about this body image dismorphia before (I didn't make that phrase up, though I'm nowhere near "disorder" status). I do try to keep this whole mess in check, partially by admitting that it's true, and by talking about it.

Operation back-to-normal

2006-05-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Life is back to normal. No more triathlon training, just "normal" workouts. Back to weightlifting (yay!), 20 or 30 minute runs instead of 90 minute run/bikes. Back to fitting in workouts where I can during the day instead of making them my top priority. Back to not enough sleep, too much coffee, work work work, and sweets.

In the week after the triathlon, where I took a break from watching what I eat and exercising, I gained 5 pounds. I ate a LOT of rich food because of visiting friends and birthday dinners, but I never felt like I was gorging. When I got back to tracking what I eat and exercising nearly ever day, I assumed that most of those 5 pounds would melt off quickly, that it was retained water and other "temporary bloat." But it didn't, and it wasn't. It was real gain.

So here I am kinda sorta back to full-on diet. I had a great workout last night where I really pushed myself during my run, but I also had a piece of cake with lunch. I try to listen to my body, eat only when hungry and avoid refined sugars that will only make me more hungry later, but it gets tiresome to deny myself food all the time.

The struggle continues.

This comment from a diet blog I read sums it up nicely:

Why does "life intervening" mean giving up eating healthfully and/or exercising? When life intervenes, do we give up showering? Brushing our teeth? I know it's the emotional component of life that intervenes and derails us, but why us? And why can't life intervening take away our appetites and make us want to clean obsessively, rather than sit on the couch eating bad food?

I'm a Triathlete!

2006-05-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

Whoo Hoo!

Quick Links:
Andre's pictures
Seppo's pictures
Official pictures
Triathlon website

After an eventful Saturday, my alarm clock woke me up bright and early at 3:00 am on Sunday morning. I was now officially 30 years old, but honestly that was the last thing on my mind. I got into my pre-race clothes, lugged my bags and bike to my car, and was on my way by 3:30 am.

After hitting major construction delays getting out of San Francisco (at 4:00 am on a Sunday!), I made it to Berkeley at 4:45 am to pick up my amazing friend Andre. I let him finish waking up (his plane into the Bay Area had landed at 1:30 am) while I drove an hour to Napa, nervously babbling and listening to my short pre-race iPod playlist ("Turn It On" and "One Beat" by Sleater-Kinney, "Walking With A Ghost" by Tegan & Sara, and "Breathe" by Telepopmusik). In Napa we swapped, and he drove another hour on very twisty roads to Lake Berryessa.

We made really fantastic time and arrived at the race site with plenty of time. I chose a rack for my bike and dropped my stuff there, went to the registration area and checked in, then went back to my bike and set up my transition area. I had a rough idea of how I wanted to do it, but I also copied the setup of the friendly guy racked next to me. He said it was only his second triathlon, but he seemed very calm and jovial. This helped put me at ease, somewhat. But when I put on my heart rate monitor and saw that my resting heart rate was hovering between 114 and 119 bpm, I knew that my calmness was just a thin facade and that even if my brain felt fine, my body was freaking out.

Seven other amazing friends, including four who flew in from the East Coast, all arrived at the event just minutes before I had to go put my wetsuit on and finalize my preparations. I jogged over to where they were and in about a hundred yards my heart rate spiked to 168 bpm. Yikes! I gave everyone quick hugs then went back to my transition area alone.

The wetsuit went on pretty easily (no Pam, the secret to Real-Triathletes' fast transition times :), then I walked over to the dock. I set my sandals in an easy-to-find spot and went for a very short practice swim. I felt good, though the neck of my wetsuit felt a bit tight. I remembered that it had felt slightly tight in the pool as well, and disregarded it as simple discomfort. I got out of the water and waited for the pre-race briefing with the other athletes, almost feeling like one myself.

The buoys were a bit hard to understand at first, so I initially thought that the buoys farthest away were part of the previous day's Half-Iron Man race. During the briefing the race officials quickly corrected that mistake; we'd be going around all of them. Eep! 18 laps in a short pool is a lot less intimidating than seeing all that distance stretched out before you. The officials also said that, with over 700 participants, the swim start would be in 5 self-seeded waves starting 2 minutes apart. I decided to go in the 4th wave, feeling pretty good about my potential performance.

Swim (1/2 mile) 00:30:01.7 (-2 minutes)

About ten strokes into the swim something happened. Maybe one too many people bumped into me. Maybe someone splashed some water into my mouth as I was taking a breath. Maybe the stress of the race and my first open water swim and the tight wetsuit neck added up to too much. It doesn't really matter what triggered it. What happened was that I started to panic. I've never had one before, but I don't think it's misleading to say that I had a Panic Attack. I was breathing very fast, choking and coughing up water, and even crying because I was so very frustrated by not being able to calm down and swim. You know, swim, like I had trained so hard to do? That. I couldn't do that.

Several very kind, very amazing participants stopped, made sure I was alright, and tried to help me calm down. One girl told me to swim on my back, which I did, and it helped. I also unhooked the collar of the wetsuit and unzipped it partially, but that didn't really help. I could see the first buoy far away, and a race monitor in a kayak right next to it. I told myself I just had to make it to that kayak and I could quit. I really didn't think I could continue. I couldn't make myself breathe properly, and I kept searching around desperately for another, shorter path to solid ground, but the kayak seemed like my best bet. So, thinking about what I would tell my friends when I quit, and desperate to be able to breathe again, and switching from my back to doggy paddle, I made my way to the kayak.

When the race monitor saw me he motioned me to go around the buoy but I shook my head and went to him instead. He asked me if I was okay and I sobbed "no!" I grabbed the side of the kayak and blubbered something about not being able to breathe, and pulled on the neck of my wetsuit, and generally felt very miserable. But the monitor just calmly told me that I was alright, to calm down, that I didn't really want to quit because I was "already halfway done." I said, "really?" Because I wasn't halfway done, I was a third of the way done. But he assured me that I was halfway there, and I looked at my watch and I had only been swimming for 11 minutes, and so I allowed myself to believe his lie. I looked at the rest of the swim course laid out before me, and I steeled myself, and I said "okay, okay, I'll finish" and I let go.

The next 17 minutes, together with the preceding 11, were the toughest minutes of my life. I was seriously fighting the feeling that I was going to die. My body wouldn't do what I told it to. I swam the rest of the course almost exclusively on my back, often not using my arms and just kicking because I just couldn't focus enough to do a proper stroke. I was still breathing very deeply and raggedly, but gradually I knew I'd get through it so it became easier to just wait out. I kept veering off course, since I couldn't see, which just added insult to injury because I ended up swimming FARTHER than I needed to because of the zig-zagging. By the time I rounded the last buoy I was turning onto my stomach every ten seconds to check my position, and I even tried to crawl stroke a few times but I was still breathing too rapidly for that to work. And let me tell you, doing the crawl without lowering your head into the water is a very inefficient way to propel yourself through the water. I tried to side stroke a bit but I don't know the mechanics of that stroke at all so it was equally a failure.

One last swimming confession. I don't like that this is true, but the fact that I was never the last swimmer, that there were always swimmers behind me and not catching up, really helped me. I guess that's just human psychology. The entire wave of people I had started with left me behind and the final wave caught up with me, but there were still a dozen or so people that finished behind me, and not being last helped.

One final shout-out to my fellow swimmers. Everyone in that spread out pod of stragglers was so encouraging. That first girl that helped me calm down in the beginning actually checked back in with me later in the swim, and everyone I bumped into accidentally when I was blindly backstroking was so nice and calm and almost amused about it. This was the group of people just "getting through" the swim, and their calm helped to calm me down.

Touching solid ground with my feet and walking out of that water filled me with such a profound sense of relief I can't even express it. I was drained, completely emotionally drained and empty. Luckily, every one of my cheerleading squad was there to cheer me on and fill me with their energy and enthusiasm.

T1 00:05:25.6

The very first words out of my mouth when I stepped out of the water were "That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life." And I meant it. But my friends didn't want to hear it, they wanted to cheer and rush me over to my bike. Half of my brain was so relieved to be out of the water that it couldn't function, but luckily all the training and preparing and visualizing kicked in and I went into auto pilot.

One of the auto-pilot things I did was check my watch: it clearly said 28 minutes and some seconds. I don't know why the official race results have me as 30 minutes and some seconds, but given that the swimming heats started 2 minutes apart I can only assume that I somehow ended up being counted with the third wave instead of the fourth. Maybe I stepped too close to the transition antenna when they the third wave people were entering the swim area. In any case, I know it was 28 minutes (and some odd seconds) for sure.

I struggled to find the wetsuit leash as I walked to my sandals, eventually struggled into them and out of the top of my wetsuit, and then amazingly broke into a jog to get to my bike. I slipped out of the wetsuit almost effortlessly, which was a huge relief as I had been mildly worried about that. My friends were massed around me, watching and sometimes cheering, and even wanting to help me when I struggled to get my singlet on, but I of course told them that they weren't allowed to help. The kind man who's bike was racked next to mine then came up and started his transition. How had I beaten him out of the water, I wondered. He said something about "at least that's over" and he and his watching wife were so calm and relaxed about it all that it again helped to calm me down a bit.

I finally got into all my biking gear, slathered on way too much sunscreen, and started to fast-walk my bike to the mounting point. I could have jogged it, but I didn't want to chance it in my biking shoes with my still weak and shaken body. So I walked, stepped over the timing antenna, mounted my bike, and pushed off to the cheers of my friends.

Bike (15 miles) 01:07:22.1

The bike course was a simple out and back route along the lake. In the first ten or twenty minutes I passed almost everyone I came upon, which wasn't as huge a boost as you might think. You see, just being on the bike felt SO GREAT that nothing short of super powers would have made me feel happier. Here, finally, after that terrible splashing slog of a swim, was something my body could do. All that training kicked in and I just FLEW down that road.

Panic adrenaline quickly turned into exercise endorphins, and I fell into an easy groove. Spin, spin, shift, pass, spin, watch what's coming next, commit what's happening now to memory so I'll have idea of how long the hills up and down will be on the return trip, sometimes cheer on the bikers coming the opposite way, spin, shift, eat, water, spin.

Yup, bikers returning. I bet I wasn't fifteen minutes into my bike ride when I saw the leading racer zoom past going the opposite direction. Then a few more trickled past. Soon there were more bikers going the other way than going my way. It was a little surreal, but motivating too.

Really, the bike ride was a breeze. I played little games like trying to raise my average speed, and always pedalling the downhills. There was a girl in a blue shirt who's number I didn't look at that I was playing leapfrog with. I would pass her on the uphills and she'd pass me on the downhills. We exchanged a few words, joking about it, which was nice and reinforced that this was all just for fun.

I paid attention to my water and food intake, but really took in very little of either. I force myself to have two big bites of Clif Bar, spaced out through the bike course, to avoid a blood sugar crash, and I sipped water when I thought of it, but I didn't want to take in too much food or water especially since my body wasn't really asking for it. Whatever I did must have been good, because I never felt dehydrated or like I had low blood sugar.

I saw lots of people with flat tires, but the biggest problems I ran into were a dropped chain once when I shifted my front and rear gears simultaneously, and the fact that I hadn't removed the safety seal on my Gatorade.

Near the end of the ride my bike-rack-neighbor slowly but surely overtook me. It was the hills that did it; he was a machine! I never had to stop, and only twice had to leave the saddle to crack up a hill, but his legs never even slowed down. Slow but steady, at the very least, finishes the race.

The final two miles of the bike course is the same as the out and back run course, and there were a lot of runners. If I had to guess I'd say that was the main pack of racers turning around at the two mile mark as I passed by on my bike. No matter. The only comment I'll make is that they felt quite entitled to the entire road, even though there were lots of bikers still using the south-bound lane. We even had to ask them to move a few times, and there was almost a bike-bike-runners collision.

My bike computer told me that I averaged 13.2 miles per hour, which I'm pretty happy with actually. I think if I had more practice with long outdoor rides and hills and pushing myself I could have upped that to 14 or 15 miles per hour. The uphills really killed my average speed, and I went to the lowest gear more than once. I felt really good about how I recovered on the flats and downhills, spinning at a nice smooth cadence. I came in from the bike portion with a huge smile.

T2 00:03:24.5

There isn't much to say about T2. Seppo and Andre had positioned themselves with their cameras along the very last stretch of road before the mounting point and took those great pictures of me you see above. Everyone else was ready to cheer me through my bike to run transition, complete with the Speed Racer poster with "Go Holly Go!" on the back.

Lifting my bike back onto the rack took a massive effort, and that's when I realized that I really had put a lot of effort into that bike ride because my triceps were screaming as I lifted the bike. Bike shoes off, running shoes on, quick drink of water, GO!

It was at this point that I was so grateful for all the brick workouts I had done, because the bike-to-run transition for my legs was a real breeze. I'd say it wasn't more than ten strides or so until the brick effect was gone. Yay for training!

Run (4 miles) 00:44:15.5

My watch said 1 hour, 44 minutes, and some seconds, and I had my first inkling that I could finish this race in under 2.5 hours. I left it at that at first, though, and focused on that first mile. The run course was a simple four mile out and back loop, and I already knew the hills from having ridden it on the bike, and I knew that there were aid stations at the mile markers. So I focused on pacing myself and pushing myself to get to that first station.

I can't recall how fast that first mile was; maybe 10 or 11 minutes. I felt good about it at least. The second mile was harder, and felt much much longer. The hills didn't help. There were bikes still trickling in, so I tried to stay conscious of staying out of their way, and alerting returning runners that bikes were behind them. Also at this point a returning runner yelled out to me "Go number 12!" I didn't recognize her, but she must have been the biker I had been playing leapfrog with and who left me behind when my chain fell off. I smiled and waved, but didn't think to check her number until she passed me.

The first time I stopped running and walked for a few seconds felt like heaven. I would run until I got to some small landmark, like the start of a tree's shadow, then walk until the next small landmark, like the end of that shadow. I'd say that for a few minutes there I definitely wasn't pushing myself very hard. Then I did a kind of mental check-in with myself: feet feel good, knees feel good, muscles not too tired, breathing good, heart rate fine... and I realized that the only thing preventing me from running faster was my mental game. I just didn't FEEL like running any faster. So, clearly I started running faster.

By the time I reached the turnaround point I was feeling great. I had passed a few people but also had a few people I was trying to keep up with. I had another bite of Clif Bar, but just as a preventively measure. I stopped for water at all the aid stations, but drank very little because I was scared of getting a stitch. I continued to walk for short stretches, but in a very deliberate way and always running faster after the short rest. This is a nice way to increase your average pace if you are feeling tired, but I still tried not to overuse it.

Somewhere in the third mile was when I realized that I had a good chance of finishing in under 2.5 hours if I just started running a little bit faster. So I chose a pair of runners about twenty feet ahead of me who had just passed me and decided not to let them get away. This worked pretty well, and kept my pace higher, though they did pull away very gradually.

Just after the final aid station a woman ran up behind me and said that I looked just like her sister. I was pleased to find that I had enough breath to hold a short conversation, and even laugh. She pulled away from me, and I set her as my new "don't let her get away" target. She was even faster than the pair of men, though, and I found myself wondering how she had managed to be so far back in this race.

Crossing the bridge for the last time was fun, because the race workers were so encouraging and friendly and fun. I was also feeling good because I knew I'd make my 2.5 hour goal. Just after the bridge I started to hear the bells that signal the turn into the parking area of the resort; the few hundred yards of the run, of the race.

I passed by the professional photographer with an enormous smile on my face. She told me I was doing a great job, keep going, and took a very flattering burst of photographs. When I passed Seppo a few dozen feet later I was in "game face" mode, so no smile for him.

Those last fifty yards were gruelling. I tried to go faster, to sprint, but my legs wouldn't do it. It was almost like inertia wouldn't let me slow down or speed up, and I finished the race at the same pace I had run the whole last mile. The last time I glanced at my watch it said 2:28:xx. And there was Andre waiting for me with his camera, waiting to capture the moment of victory.

Finish 02:30:29.5 (-2 minutes)

Andre tells me that in the picture, if you zoom in, you can see that my watch says 2:29:xx. That's good, because it completely slipped my mind to stop the watch (doh!). The smile in this photo tells it all: I was exhausted, exhilarating, joyous, and above all I felt strong. I had just spent two and a half hours pushing my body and mind as hard as I knew how, and it felt GOOD! I was very glad it was over, but so glad I had done it. I had pushed my knowledge of what I was capable of and was happy with what I had found.

(Performance Note: My predicted finish, based on training paces, was 2 hours 23 minutes plus transition times. So I actually beat that prediction! I clearly swam slower (43 yards per minute for 900 yards was my fastest long training swim, sans panic attack), but I biked faster (13.2 mph vs. 10.7 mph). I ran slower (11 minute miles vs. 9:40 minute miles), but I still think that was mostly a mental limitation and not a physical one, and I felt pretty good about my running performance overall given my lack of race experience.)

The next half hour is a bit of a blur. I babbled about how hard the swim was to all my friends for a bit, laughing about it because it was over but still surprised and a bit traumatized by it. I drank some water and wondered out loud over and over where my medal was. The race newsletter had said that the medals would be given out at the finish line, and I wanted to be sure that I got mine! Turns out they were being given out in the check-in area, along with more snacks and the t-shirts, so we headed that way.

This is about when my mood crashed a bit. The fatigue I was feeling was extreme, and luckily most of my friends peeled away and gave me some space to just breathe and rest and collect my shirt and medal.

Amazingly, this is when that race monitor from the kayak found me! He recognized me, and calmly congratulated me for finishing. I thanked him over and over, saying that I had been so ready to quit and he kept me going and thank you thank you thank you. He almost brushed it off, said no problem, and then related a story of his own of swimming in a very frigid lake and having a similar reaction. He said it happens all the time, you just have to work through it. Now they tell me...

My heart rate monitor said that my average heart rate during the course of the race was 166 bpm, which I was overjoyed to see. Solidly in the "working hard" region, but well out of the "burn myself out" region: exactly what I was shooting for! My only goal had been to finish strong, to feel strong through the race, and to have a fun time. I had done all those things, and I had shared that experience with my friends to boot.

My heart rate monitor also told me that I had burned 2238 calories during the race, so after a quick rinse and change of clothes, I settled in at the picnic lunch everyone had set up at a picnic table under a shady tree. I had a sandwich, wore the throwback-style birthday triathlon jersey t-shirt Adrian had sent me and I had just earned the right to wear, and relaxed. Talk about a birthday.

The day before the triathlon

2006-05-12T14:54:00.000-07:00

I had a very detailed plan for the days leading up to the race, and I followed it fairly closely. Friday night I got to bed early and woke up naturally at 6:30am Saturday morning. I puttered around home then hung out with an out-of-town friend for the morning and early afternoon, doing lots of walking through the city. I had mostly carbs but listened to my body and ate only as much as I wanted. Half a bagel with hummus, cornmeal waffle, fruit, soy latte, tea.

Then I went home and started to lay out all my gear on my bed and triple check my packing lists. Well before I was done two other out-of-town friends showed up and we hung out for a few hours. I had a light dinner of a salad and ceviche, then we went grocery shopping. Halfway through that shopping trip my body CRIED OUT for carbohydrates. I was suddenly starving, so straight to the bakery I went to buy FOUR wheat bagels. As soon as we checked out and were outside the store I tore open the jar of peanut butter and ate one of the bagels, dipping it in the peanut butter as if it were coffee and the bagel was a doughnut. :D I felt better immediately.

Then I went home and packed up my bags. This was a pretty fast process, thankfully, because I was running a bit behind schedule. I laid out the clothes I'd wear the next day, placed my packed bags and bike near the door, and packed all the food into a canvas bag and put it in the refrigerator. I even pre-peanut-buttered my morning bagel so I wouldn't have to do ANYTHING but put my clothes on and GO in the morning.

Then I changed into my night clothes and performed a ritual I haven't talked about much here but which I found to be very powerful and useful in the week leading up to the race. I first spent about ten minutes stretching; a combination of yoga sun salutations and just normal static stretches. This put my mind back in my body. My knee and hips had been feeling weak and tight these past few days, but they felt good when stretching so I knew it wasn't anything to worry about. My stomach and digestive systems felt comfortable, I'd been drinking enough water all day, and in general I felt good. Next I lay down in bed and visualized the race itself. Sometimes I had done this while listening to calm music but this night I did it in silence. I visualized the start, the swim, the way my arms and hands would feel pushing the water. I visualized surging out of the water and stripping out of my wetsuit, putting on my bike jersey flawlessly, and hammering out of the transition area on my bike. I visualized the way my legs would burn pedalling up the hills, and the exhilaration of the downhills. I visualized working through the "heavy legs" of the running transition, and the mental games I'd play with myself to stay strong on the run. Then I visualized crossing the finish line, running and strong.

This time, as had happened during other visualization sessions, failures creeped into my ideal-vision. Struggling with my singlet, falling on the bike, things like that. I didn't let it bother me, but accepted it as natural anxiety and tried to visualize how I would react to those setbacks if they did happen.

Then I tried to go to sleep. This was harder than I thought it would be, even though I was tired, because it was 7:30pm and thus still DAYLIGHT. The last time I remember seeing on the clock was 7:48pm... then 8:45pm... then 9:52pm... I think I slept through the night after that.

Then, at 3am Sunday morning, my alarm clock woke me up.

Training + Dieting = bound to fail

2006-05-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

From Skwigg:

In another study, they put rats on a restrictive diet and then they put them in a stressful situation and gave them access to sugar. The little varmints CHOWED down. But they found that one situation or the other didn't send them over the deep end. They only wigged out and binged when they were starving AND stressed. Moral of the story, if you're on a restrictive contest-type diet stay mellow, and if you're working long stressful hours and training hard, eat well, because if you put the restrictive diet together with the stress, you're going to end up with your face in a cake.

See exhibit A: my past two or three weeks. :/

Triathlon Planning Post

2006-05-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Packing List
Wearing at Race Start

Tri shorts

Black sports bra

Swim cap

Swim goggles

Wetsuit

Heart rate monitor (wrist and strap)

Flip flops (leave at water edge, use again when running back to transition)

Transition Area

Bike (with race computer, aerobars, pump, toolkit with extra tube, tire levers, multitool)

Bike helmet

Bike shoes

Bike gloves

Small towel

Socks x2

Sunglasses

Glasses strap

Running shoes

Water bottle x2 (one for bike, one extra)

Gatorade (for bike)

Sports bars (two in singlet even though I should only need one, plus extra)

Singlet

Sunscreen (use before the swim)

Body Glide (use before the swim)

Arm warmers

Hat

Other

Real glasses

Warmups (pants and shirt and jacket)

Real clothes (skirt and shirt and sweater, bra and underwear)

Big towel

Shower kit

Non-running sneakers

Socks

Pre-race food (banana, cheerios, pb&j, sports bars)

Post-race food (apple, pb&j, sports bars)

Lots of water

Ice pack

Knee brace

Bug sprace

Toilet paper

Bike lock

Pins

iPod & headphones

Big bike pump

First aid kit

Toothbrush and toothpaste

Wallet, etc.

Tuesday
7:30am - Wake up
9:00am - Work
7:00pm - Leave work
8:00pm - Sleater-Kinney concert
~~11:30pm~~ 12:00am - Prepare for bed
~~12:00am~~ 1:00am - GO TO BED

Wednesday
~~7:00am~~ 6:15am- Wake up
~~8:00am~~ 7:30am- Work
6:00pm - Leave work
7:00pm - Cat Power concert
10:30pm - Prepare for bed
11:00pm - GO TO BED

Thursday
7:00am - Wake up
8:30am - Work
6:00pm - Short treadmill run
~~7:00pm~~ 8:30pm - Go home
~~8:00pm~~ 11:00pm - Prepare for bed
~~9:00pm~~ 12:30pm - GO TO BED

Friday
~~6:00am~~ 6:30am - Wake up
7:30am - Dentist appointment
9:00am - Work
7:00pm - Leave work
~~8:00pm~~ 9:30pm - Prepare for bed
~~9:00pm~~ 10:15pm - GO TO BED

Saturday
6:30am - wake up, even though I want to sleep in. :(
~~9:00am~~ 9:30am - Brunch with L
~~1:30pm~~ 3:30pm - Hang out with C&J, maybe others
~~5:00pm~~ 6:00pm - Double triple quadruple check my bike and packed bags
~~6:00pm~~ 6:30pm - Start trying to go to bed
7:00pm - GO TO BED

Sunday
~~3:30am~~ 3:00am - wake up
~~4:00am~~ 3:30am - leave apartment
~~4:30am~~ 4:45am - get stuck in Bay Bridge traffic, pick up dre in Berkeley, ~~nap~~ babble while dre drives :)
6:30am - arrive at Punta Creek, park ($5 $10)
7:00am - check-in and set up transition area
7:30am - wait
7:50am - pre-race briefing
8:00am - race start (staged, I'll be in one of the last waves)
11:00am - worst case race finish, wash up, picnic
1:00pm - latest time to leave Punta Creek, ~~nap~~ talk to family on cell phone while dre drives :)
3:00pm - arrive SF, shower, ~~nap~~ hang out with friends
5:30pm - birthday dinner with my dear friends

Mental Race Preparation

2006-04-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Laura was actually at that clinic I tried to go to. She has a nice write-up of the lessons she learned, so I'm linking to it for my own reference. Great write-up, Laura.

Wetsuit, Bike, Taper, Food, Blah balh balh balaljlajf

2006-04-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I tried on and swam in my rented wetsuit for the first time. It had an ENORMOUS positive effect. I have a problem that apparently many people have; my hips ride low in the water, especially when I'm taking a breath, and this causes me to have to drag my body through the water using a lot more effort than if my hips were high and floating. The wetsuit causes me to float much higher in the water overall, including my hips, and I shaved 10 seconds off my previous best lap time. 10 seconds.

I will be commuting home via bike/Caltrain/bike today, so as to get some more practice with the aerobars Joe is lending me. They are going to make my race SO MUCH more pleasant. I haven't been riding my bike much at all lately, and I'm sure it will be my weakest event in the race.

I tried to go to a "Mental Race Preparation" seminar last night, but the time of the event had been changed without announcement and I only caught the last few minutes. I still learned a few good things, I think. First is that I'm going to spend some time between now and the race just sitting quietly and visualizing the race: how I'll feel, what the wind will smell like, etc. Next is to make a list of things to do on race morning, so that when I'm done with that list and just waiting to start the race I won't be tempted to stress out about what I may have forgotten to do and will instead just relax and get myself into a good mental place to race. Lastly, I learned some techniques to keep yourself alert and focused and not bored during the long stretches of straight road and no finish line in sight. I'm sure that by mile 8 on the bike or mile 3 on the run I'll be VERY ready for the whole thing to just be DONE.

My training taper has officially begun. Sleep and hydration and nutrition are my top priorities. I've been cutting out sugar and caffeine. I have a 10pm bedtime. Food is my nemesis, as always, but I'm doing as well as I can and trying not to stress about it. I've been gaining weight this week and was mildly freaking out about it until I remembered that my period is coming up SOON and it's probably just water retention. But now I'm mildly freaking out about the possibility that I'll be having my period during the race.

Nothing I can do about it. Nothing I can do to get in better shape or lose weight at this point, either. The only things I can do are eat right, drink water, plan, and sleep. And not freak out.

Results

2006-04-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

"I hate discipline but I love results."

That pretty much holds true for most aspects of life. Mine, at least. :)

Oh, and the other day a coworker and I were talking about possibly going to the See Jan Run Sports Nutrition Clinic, I mentioned that if she ever wanted to hear my thoughts on nutrition I had plenty of them. In the ensuing conversation I mentioned that I used to weigh 200 pounds, and her jaw dropped (I love that reaction). Then she said something about me being "so skinny" (which I'll also never get tired of hearing, even if it's not really true). Then the best part: she said something like "you lost 80 pounds!?" and I said "no, no. I weigh 150 pounds" and she was very surprised. I said "I'm dense, I guess. Lots of weightlifting."

So, there ya go. I still think of myself as fat, but I'm not. Nobody else thinks I am. Someday I won't either.

Self Talk

2006-04-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Triathlon notes of the day: T-minus 19 days. Goals for the next 19 days: get 8 hours of sleep a night. Ride bike outside with SPD shoes/pedals and aero bars at least three times on long rides. Practice swimming with and getting in and out of wetsuit at least three times. Choose an energy source or three for race day. Oh, and the triathlon newsletter verified a suspicion I had: "Northern California has experienced exceptional amounts of rain and unseasonably cool weather well into spring this year. If we get warmer weather and less rain in the remaining weeks leading up to raceday, we can reasonably hope that the lake will warm to the low- to mid-60s. This is still far below the normal low-70s that we have come to expect at Lake Berryessa this time of year." Brrr! End of triathlon notes.

Monday morning I woke up at the boyfriend's house, and too late to get to work in time for the free breakfast there. So without my kitchen handy I stopped at a coffee shop and ordered a (soy) cafe au lait, wheat bagel with hummus, and blueberry bran muffin. I knew this was a lot of food, but I wasn't being very conscious with my decision making. I kind of watched myself order all that food, driven by the "eat eat eat" impulse from a very emotional weekend, and explained away with: 1) I didn't want to bonk during my triathlon training class later that day, and 2) bran, wheat, hummus; these are healthy right?

As I was waiting for my bagel a beautiful thin very fit woman about my age walked in and ordered an americano and one of those hockey-puck sized vegan seed cake things. (You know the ones, they are super-dense and look like a birdfood millet cake. I don't doubt they are tasty, they just don't hold a candle to a muffin in the food-as-drug department.)

That was a really clear example to me that if I want to lose 10 (or 20) more pounds I'm going to have to do another round of re-wiring of the appetite. The amount of food I now eat once seemed like impossibly little; so too does the amount that I seem to be aiming for. I also need to reign in the emotional eating, and be more conscious every day and every meal with how much food I'm putting into my body.

The last time I re-wired my appetite I put very rigid rules (calories allowed, basically) in place for myself and followed them to the letter. I'm not really feeling up to that kind of focused effort right now; I'd rather focus on work and athletic training and friends and stuff. Maybe some kind of symbol or token that made me think about what I was doing every time I started to eat. A bracelet or ring maybe, things I don't usually wear. To remind me of this goal when all I can think about is how good that bran muffin feels on my tongue.

Triathlon Gear

2006-04-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

SWIMMING:
Tri Shorts: Zoot Sports Tri Sport Shorts

Bra: Maia by Moving Comfort, which I had to get in a band size too small and a cup size too big because they don't make them for B-cups, but is still the best sports bra I've ever owned.

Wetsuit: Rental, Xterra sleeveless.

Swimming cap and goggles, of course.

Watch: Watch half of my Polar F11 heart rate monitor. I have honestly not decided if I want to wear the heart rate strap and track my heart rate or not. On the one hand it would keep me entertained and could give me some useful feedback. On the other hand, I don't want to just be messing with it the whole time. Need to decide.

BIKING: (wetsuit, swimming cap, goggles come off, all else stays on)
Biking Shoes: Shimano SH-MA80

Biking Pedals: Shimano SPDs of some variety. $50, entry level.

Socks: Thorlo crew socks. These are FANTASTIC. I may change socks between the bike and running, not sure.

Singlet: "See Jane Tri" branded Moving Comfort triathlon top, which was on mega-sale (~$30).

Bike: Fuji Absolute 4.0. A friend is going to loan me his aero bars too, score!

Eye Glasses Strap: $5, priceless.

Shorts: Maybe I'll wear a pair of shorts over my tri shorts, maybe not. It would be to keep me warm.

Arm Warmers: I have these great arm warmers that I'll probably keep handy in case it's cold that morning. I'll be losing a lot of heat as the water evaporates off of me from the swim.

RUNNING: (bike shoes come off, all else stays on)
Running Shoes: Brooks Adrenaline GTS 6, with Superfeet orthotics. These recently replaced my Brooks Adrenaline GTS 4s that I loved but were getting pretty long in the tooth. The orthotics are a new addition, though.

Practice Triathlon

2006-04-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, because the triathlon class instructor was on vacation, my coworker and I did a practice triathlon on our own. We took spinning bikes and set them up right next to the pool with all our transition clothes (bike shoes, running shoes, socks, singlet, water bottles, towels). I wore my triathlon shorts and athletic bra (I don't have the wetsuit I'm renting yet) for all three stages, and also wore the singlet for biking and running.

500 yards of swimming took me just over 10 minutes. I can't honestly recall the exact time when I got out of the pool. :( Still, it was roughly a minute per 50 yard lap, so I was happy with that pace.

20 minutes on the spinning bikes. We should have ridden longer, but we were time constrained by LUNCH. :) I could have pushed myself harder during this stage. :/ This was also the first time I ever used my new biking shoes.

2.9 mile run = two laps around the complex. After half an hour of physical effort already, and with personal stress tying my stomach in tight nauseating knots, I maintained a 9:18 minute mile pace for the first half and was somewhat slower in the second half for an average pace of 9:39 minutes per mile. I even sprinted the last quarter mile.

I'm very pleased with these results. I feel much more confident that I'll finish the race strong. That's all I want: to finish strong.

Today: Resisted doughnuts three times at breakfast. I was looking at them, trying to justify eating half or a quarter of one, and eventually resisted. Also, did the noon-time spinning class at the gym, which was GREAT and I sweated buckets and all, but maybe wasn't a great move for my "off day." :) The screws holding the cleat to one of my bike shoes worked themselves off at the end of the class and I had to spend ten minutes with a gym employee getting it out of the pedal. :/ I pushed myself hard during that class, though, which is great for building my stamina in general, and my biking stamina specifically.

Fast is still the new slow

2006-04-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Two months ago I discovered that my swimming pace had improved so much that even though I felt slow I was actually swimming faster than ever before. That's what almost happened to me today when I was running. I felt dog slow, my heart rate monitor was telling me to slow down, I felt like I couldn't breath well, yet I still ran a 10 minute mile pace for 3 miles. I could have kept running, too, but LUNCH beckoned. This gives me hope that I can run that fast at the end of my triathlon.

I was running with my co-worker again. She's great; she's taking the triathlon class with me and we've run on Fridays together three times now. She's fast and encouraging and pushes me a bit but doesn't make me feel like I'm holding her back. I think she's like me and many of us: just wants to share the experience with others. We actually came across another co-worker running in the opposite direction on the path so we turned around and ran with him for a while. Come to think of it, he slowed us down a bit so I must have been running better than a 10 minute mile before that. Nice.

Oh, AND (I'm almost done) I received my triathlon shorts from Sierra Trading Post about 10 minutes before I left for the gym, so I ran in them and they were really great. I'll bike with them this weekend, and try to swim with them next week, but I foresee no problems. They are so comfortable that I don't even think about them. Too bad I didn't have my triathlon jersey with me to try out as well.

I'm really doing a triathlon? What was I THINKING?

Ah, sleep

2006-04-05T14:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I got 8.5 hours of sleep. Oh, what luxury.

Today's run. I didn't time it, but it took somewhere around 30 minutes ~= 10 minute mile pace. Awesome: exactly what I was looking for. The weather was really great, too, with a nice breeze coming off the water.

Then we swam 900 yards but in a mixture of drills and sprints. I've gotten much faster with my swimming, but I'm still very much limited by how fast I can take in air. Shorter sprints (25, 50, 100 yards) I held a nice steady pace, but the longer one (200 yards) I totally lost it. Then again, I wasn't exactly fresh by then.

The other day I looked up the swim, bike, and run course maps. You'll notice that the run is downhill for the final 1.5 miles. Sweet! But, it's uphill for the first 1.5 so I better put more hill work into my workouts.

Oh! And as for my "workout before major meals" theory: today at lunch I really loaded up my plate (healthy stuff all) but was full after eating only a third of it, and so I stopped eating. Now, an hour later, I'm still totally full. Fantastic.

Get out and Move

2006-04-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

No coffee and no alcohol Monday through Friday last week: check. Well, half check; I had three beers at a show on Friday night. :/

I didn't workout over the weekend as I had wanted to. Not remembering daylight savings caused me to not attend a yoga class on Sunday morning, and I just plain ol' didn't go biking or running either day for no good reason. I did BUY exercise gear, though: new running shoes with inserts, clippless pedals and shoes for bike, triathlon specific top and bottom that were on mega sales, fantastic athletic bras that weren't on sale at all, more wicking shirts and running shorts and socks, and biking gloves and a bottle holder. Didn't use a single piece of that gear, though. :/

Drank three or more drinks Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. Ate a bit too much, but not completely overboard. Did a decent amount of walking.

On Friday I just couldn't stop eating... I wasn't exactly hungry, wasn't exactly not hungry. I just kept snacking and snacking and couldn't figure out why. I had a small thought that I seemed to eat more food on days that I exercised less than on days when I exercised more. So I tested that out and graphed calories in vs. exercise calories (Jan-March, thank you, fitday.com) and lookie here:

"Calories of Eaten": good one...

Amazing. Amazingly clear. The more I exercise the less varied my calorie intake is. You can see that on the left side of the graph, where I exercise little or none, my calorie intake is all over the map (1200 to 3100 calories). But on days when I exercise off 300 calories or more that calorie intake range shrinks down to 1600-2600. You'll also notice that there are no points at all in the upper right section of the graph: if I get a reasonable workout in I don't binge eat, I actually eat less than if I hadn't exercised at all. I did an analysis to be sure that I wasn't simply eating more the day AFTER a workout, and while that did happen a few times it wasn't the general pattern.

So, one more reason why exercise is an essential piece of the weight maintenance puzzle: it really does control my appetite.

ETA: Something I hadn't thought of earlier, but seems really clear after a day of overeating then exercising after work: the power of appetite suppression is probably best wielded BEFORE the day's major meals. Two years ago when I was at my most fit I worked out in the mornings, but now my schedule is totally different and I often hit the gym after work. I'm not sure I can rearrange my schedule back to AM workouts though. Have to investigate that.

2.5 years

2006-03-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

Inspirational link of the day: Liz gets buff. If a 50 year old grandmother with back pain and almost no muscle tone can do that to her body, none of us have any excuses at all. All we lack is sufficient desire and conviction.

I talk about my own "before and after" in this blog's first entry, but I still consider myself to be "during" really. I'd like to lower my body fat percentage, get my eating under more control, run faster, bike more regularly... etc!

In other news, I'm so proud of my mother. She has struggled with her weight for as long as I've been alive, and I've seen her yo-yo a few times on diets I considered to be less than great (low carb, for example). But this time is different: she's lost 30 pounds, goes to the gym three or more times a week, and has her blood sugar under control with no medication at all. She says she has more energy and never feels hungry or deprived. Eat less, eat better, move more, live well.

Groove

2006-03-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've definitely got my groove back. Something in my head finally clicked into place and I'm back on the full regimen: clean eating, logging food, no coffee, and working out almost every day. My weight was creeping upward and had stayed above my trigger weight (150) for a week and a half, and there are only 6 weeks until my race, so since I want to kick ass at my race and not lug around this belly for two hours during it I'm back to 100% clean eating.

I'm going to suffer through a week or so of hunger, which sucks, but that's what I get for letting my weight bob up to 154 (eep!). I'm still going to indulge in a beer here or there but very mindfully. I'm going to try to get more sleep (as always). I have three concerts this week but then no concerts until April 21st, April 28th, and May 2nd, so I'll have no excuse to not get sleep.

My goal: 148 (my stable weight) by May 7th. If I get there easily then my secondary goal is a personal lowest weight: 144.

I'll be working out a LOT and eating clean, so I'm not worried about losing muscle instead of fat. I'll reevaluate my goals or methods if I don't like what's happening (too little energy, etc.).

My triathlon class today was great! We ran intervals on the treadmill and my form is getting much better. I was able to run 8:34 minute miles for the first two 5 minute intervals, and 9:13 minute miles for the second two (1 minute rests between intervals). Then we jumped into the pool and did some technique drills then swam 100 yard intervals with 30 seconds of rests, and I swam three 1:57 100 yards and one 1:59, which is definitely a major improvement on my old speeds. Whoo Hoo! As I suspected, previous to having real swimming instruction I was just flailing around in the pool like a cat having a seizure. Now I at least know what to ask my body to do, even if it doesn't always do it.

Back on the horse

2006-03-21T14:36:00.000-08:00

A month ago I hit some kind of mental (possibly physical) wall; I remember being in the pool and just not being into the swim at all and climbing out after 15 minutes. After that I took two weeks pretty easy at the gym, although my first yoga class and first real bike ride were in that time. I was easing back into the full training regimen when I met a boy, started spending lots of time with him, and caught his cold. So the next week was pretty light on gym time as well. I'm still not completely over that cold, actually.

Enter the triathlon class two weeks ago. This has been priceless! The coach pushes us very hard, much harder than I'd be pushing myself right now, and this is very very necessary for me because I have only... 47 days until my race. The class will give me a big conditioning push then end in time for me to do a two week training taper before the race. Perfection. My performance in the class has been less stellar than I'd like; I'm not sure how much of that is due to me taking some time off from the gym and how much of it is this lingering cold.

The class will also help me catch up on my 2006 minutes, which you'll notice I've gone from being ahead to being behind on. :(

Also since my last entry I have proven that it's quite possible to fall off the horse no matter what eating plan and rules you've chosen. I've been pretty good most days, with a few binge days for the regular reasons. The weight blip was small and hopefully will go away quickly.

I suffered a low-blood-sugar attack during yesterday's workout and it took me a few hours to recover. That wasn't fun. I'm going to make sure to eat a portion of carbs a few hours before working out from now on.

No Counting, No Worries

2006-03-13T19:29:00.000-08:00

I have been maintaining my weight the same way I lost it: strict food measuring/logging/calorie counting and lots of exercise. But lately the food logging feels less and less sustainable, as does my old habit of eating micro-meals through the day. That worked great when I pre-portioned and packed all my food for the day every morning, but my new job feeds me free breakfast and lunch and snacks every day. There are lots and lots of healthy options, which I do eat, but I also find myself eating the dessert every day at lunch and just eating less real food to make the total calories add up right. I haven't gained weight, but I have started to build up a "sugar belly." With all this triathlon training I had to increase my caloric intake but I was just eating more sugars and not more good food (big salad, grilled chicken, fresh vegetables, two big chocolate chip cookies. Hmmm...). I began to realize that we're socialized to eat 3 big meals a day, not 5 or 6 small ones, and that I should make my maintenance plan work with that. And, let's face it; I'm tired of mentally cataloging the contents and portion sizes of everything I eat every meal so that I can go back to fitday.com and enter it all in every single day. It's draining. :(

Then I came across No-S, mulled it over for a few days, and realized that here was a very simple, intuitive set of rules I could make work for me as a long-haul solution. Snacking was my downfall, of course! In my old job I'd have a tiny breakfast and tiny lunch with snacks a few hours after each. But at the new free-food job where I'm eating three normal-sized meals a day I can't also save another few slices of toast for midmorning and another half sandwich for the afternoon, as had become my habit.

Amazingly, after a few days, I didn't miss the snacking at all. I really couldn't believe it. Not only did I not miss the snacking, but since eating between meals was now off limits I wasn't constantly thinking about all the food available to me in the break rooms. I'm actually hungry before lunch, so I enjoy lunch more. I don't go grab an extra scoop of this or slice of that after I've finished a meal but before my fullness meter has kicked in. And I can eat socially on the weekends guilt-free. I've binged once, but for the most part I listen to what my stomach is telling me.

Now, three weeks into this new pattern, my weight is still totally stable. (You didn't think I had stopped weighing myself every day, did you? :) All those lessons I taught my body about portion sizes, craving healthy food, and wanting to be physically active are certainly playing a role as well. But not counting, not logging, not obsessing: beautiful. Freeing. I feel like a normal person, almost.

Still sick, workouts, shoutouts, goals

2006-03-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

I've had this cold for a week now and it's really beginning to cramp my style. It's just bad enough to be constantly noticeable, but not bad enough for me to take a few days off and just rest at home like I should. The cold also made me decide not to go for a run over the weekend (it was cold!), but I did do some light calisthenics just so I didn't feel like a complete slug.

Not being able to breath freely made today's triathlon training class less intense than I would have liked, but I still surprised myself. We ran intervals: 5 minutes at 75%-90% intensity, 1 minute walking, repeat. Run faster at each repeat. I started at a 10 min/mile pace, but by the last interval I was up to nearly an 8 min/mile and still feeling good. I was getting tired, but felt strong. The trainer, Tim, gave me some good tips on my running technique (raise my knees higher, take shorter strides) and as soon as I made those changes I wanted to run FASTER. It was amazing! In the end I was limited by my inability to breath full breaths. Then we jumped in the pool and worked some swimming technique drills.

Completely an unrelated note, I was googling my own name today and came across a stranger who found this blog and finds it inspiring! How great!

I'm playing with the idea of wanting to lose a few more pounds before my triathlon (55 days to go!). I've been hovering around 148 lbs for months now, but how great would it be to not have to lug some of this extra fat around for 19.5 miles? Maybe I'll postpone that decision until I'm not sick anymore.

Fast, Slow

2006-03-09T14:28:00.000-08:00

I didn't work out at all last week. Excuses, excuses.

I have worked out some this week, but not rigorously. I even weightlifted, though it was only because I was avoiding a cardio session. In my defense I can't breathe well right now because I'm fighting off a cold.

I went running at lunch with a super-fast running co-worker. She let me set the pace, and I was feeling pretty slow (no working out lately, can't breath), but it turns out we ran a 9:20 min/mile pace for 1.75 miles (6.4 mph). Woah! I guess I'm getting faster if that feels slow.

I'm going on a trip this weekend and one of the other people going wants to go running with me. Let's see if I can sustain that pace.

Triathlon camp starts next week.

Weight stable on No-S. I love not obsessing about food. Very cool.

Lunchtime Triathlon Training Camp

2006-03-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

Apparently the turnout for the 6:30am - 8:00am Triathlon Training Camp at the work gym was so low (3 people) they've re-evaluated the wisdom of their choices and moved the class to 11:30am-1:00pm. Yay! Even better, it's now Mondays and Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays and Thursdays, which works much better with my meeting schedule at work. They couldn't have made this any better for me, really. Even an after work class wouldn't have been as good because late afternoon is when I get into a really good work groove, and I usually have social engagements at night.

This new class starts on March 13th. I've already signed up. All the training I've done since December has built a nice base for this class, I think. I hope. :)

In other news; I haven't worked out since that bike ride and yoga class on Sunday. I walked into work on Monday and was faced with a super high priority task, on top of a deadline yesterday that was pushed to today. I was at work until midnight on Monday and I let working out slip so that I could take care of myself (sleep) so that I could be super-effective at work. The strategy has worked, but I'm eager to get back to the gym. I have concert tickets for tonight and tomorrow but I'm going to try to get in there for at least a little bit. We'll see how today goes.

Oh god, Tim (triathlon training coach) is going to kick my ass... eep!

First real bicycle workout

2006-02-26T11:40:00.000-08:00

The route:
To and from ocean, via Golden Gate Park.

The Music:
Tegan and Sara - So Jealous
Le Tigre - This Island

Heart Rate Monitor:
1:26:31
988 calories
144 bpm avg heart rate
167 bpm max heart rate

Bike Computer:
1:08:58
12.321 miles
10.7 mph avg speed
21 mph max speed

The bike computer only counts time that you are moving, so the extra 18 minutes were stop lights, stop signs, and water/map breaks. It goes without saying that I was hoping for a higher average speed. I think that speed is pretty fair, traffic and all, because I was butt-slow on the uphills in the park. There were even a few I had to walk up. Need to work on that lactic acid buffering. :/

I was paranoid about the weather forecast (rain, low 60's) so I had too many layers when the riding warmed me up. Taking off my arm warmers and helmet liner when I got to the ocean felt really good, and removing my gloves a few miles later felt like heaven. I left my rain pants and rain jacket on, though; partially because I didn't have anywhere to put them. Rain was limited to very light sprinkling.

There were lots of riders and joggers and dogs with humans out; that was cool. Traffic was pretty benign, though there were a few jerks.

I got home and shed my clothes: my t-shirt was SOAKED. I probably could have wrung sweat out of it. I was wearing a wicking shirt under that, so my skin had been nice and dry. Sweet.

Any minute now my appetite will come back and I'll have to eat a huge meal. That better happen soon, because this afternoon I'm going to a yoga class with a friend.

Consequences

2006-02-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

Today I am skipping a workout specifically because I'm behind at work. :( This is what happens when I don't keep my eye on the ball and try to do too much.

In that vein, I'm also trying out the No-S Diet. I'm hoping it will allow me to maintain my weight with far less overhead than the Fitday food tracking. See aforementioned "try to do too much": I'm trying to reclaim my time and attention for more pressing matters, like work. Speaking of which, I should get back to that.

I'll keep ya posted.

Resources

2006-02-15T14:45:00.000-08:00

Whatever it takes, right? I read or skim almost every fitness/exercise/diet/nutrition article and blog post I come across. 50% are garbage, but many have at least some value, and a few really stick with me. Maybe they just inspire me with one idea, or get me to change my philosophy a bit, or add one useful word to my fitness vocabulary. The Hacker's Diet was my first real inspiration, and though I don't agree with everything I have truly incorporated many of his suggestions into my daily life. Skinny Daily Post remains on my daily reading list, even though I find some of the articles repetitive. I check in on Stumptuous every month or so, even though she's far more hardcore than I'll ever be.

It's too early to tell if the ideas at Everyday Systems will make it into this esteemed company, but I think there is a decent chance. Reading only a third of the No S Diet page made me get up, go to the break room, and PUT BACK the Oreo cookies package I had on my desk. (I have been letting these treats become a daily, sometimes multiple times a day occurrence, and I get less and less joy from them with each passing day.) Shovelglove is a bit cheesy, but I agree that regular resistance exercise is ESSENTIAL to your health. I think pushups/situps/dips/etc. are just as valid, however, and aren't as likely to end with a smashed toe/floor/window. Urban Ranger re-inspired me to leave my car at work on the weekends and walk/bike places instead of driving and circling circling circling for parking.

Swimming Update

2006-02-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

I felt pretty strong in the pool this morning, so after my first few laps I set a goal for myself: I wanted to swim as fast as my record pace (41 yd/min) but for the full 28 minutes (that record was set during a short workout, and this was a long workout).

I beat that by 11 seconds. 23 laps in 27 min 49 seconds. 41.342121 yd/min. Still rounds down to 41. :| But I felt really strong. :)

I was really hungry (and ate and ate and ate) all day long yesterday, and it wasn't until right before a dinner with a friend (doh!) that I lost my appetite. Luckily we went for sushi so I could get a small portion. I really think that all that food helped my performance this morning. Now I understand why people eat a lot of food the day before a race.

Triathlon Training Camp

2006-02-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

My gym is offering a Triathlon Training Camp. Pretty good deal too, twelve 90 minute classes for $125. Two sessions a week for six weeks. Starts soon, but ends in the first week of April so I can still taper properly for my race. The trainer running it is the same guy I spoke with a few weeks ago, and seems very friendly and knowledgeable and encouraging. My speed and transition times would certainly improve dramatically. I've also never been coached on biking or running, and the last time I was coached in swimming was middle school. Sounds pretty darn perfect, eh?

6:30am to 8:00am.

I'm just not sure I'm that dedicated. I got out of bed at 6:22 this morning, and that was a bit of a struggle.

6:30am...

Lara Bar

2006-02-13T09:39:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to think too hard about the interaction of my terrible eating on Saturday, writing about it on Sunday, and this morning's joy as I tried a Lara Bar for the first time. Because if I were more Cali than I already am I'd start saying things like "the world gives you what you need" and nobody wants that.

Sunday I bought and this morning I tried for the first time a Lara Bar. Without waxing too lyrical about it, it's my new favorite food: an energy bar that isn't full of chemicals, supplements, and nasty texture. A real whole food that simultaneously gives me a nice nutritional breakdown (210 cal/10g "good" fat/5g fiber/6g protein/no sodium). Three ingredients in the flavor I tried: Almonds, Dates, Unsweetened Bananas.

I had half of the bar on the way into work to get some sugar into my blood for my morning workout. This bar made me feel ALIVE and good and all those things you want your food to make you feel. From their website:

Our company name comes from an ancient belief that food falls into two categories:
Beckoning Foods, which beckon consumption again and again, sapping the body of energy without any real health benefits, Today they're called "junk foods."
Humm Foods, on the other hand, resonate with energy in a whole natural state. When consumed, they cause you to feel vibrant and alive.

LÄRABAR IS HUMM FOOD

Now, Saturday I wasn't eating full-on junk food, but it was halfway there. Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered pretzels: not chips ahoy, but not wheat toast either. Chinese pastries: not birthday cake, but not wheaties either.

So, it feels good to be back to real, good, happy-body food.

Even if this morning's workout was weak, slow, water-choky because my brain wouldn't focus, and did I mention slow? No matter, I did it.

Emotions

2006-02-12T22:05:00.000-08:00

I guess I should count my blessings: I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholism runs in my family, so I could easily be turning to booze instead of sugar for a quick chemical fix in times of emotional and mental stress.

I "watched" myself (a nice turn of phrase that let's one avoid responsibility for one's actions) finish a bag of Trader Joe's chocolate covered pretzels yesterday. I have had that bag for six months or longer, and have been having one to four at a time once in a while over that stretch. Nice sane portions. On Saturday, however, I watched myself bring the bag to the couch instead of just the portion I wanted, and I watched myself finish the bag. 16 pretzels. 600 calories. Needless to say, I felt terrible about half an hour later. But then later in the day, while wandering Chinatown between moments in the crowd at the parade, I stopped in not one but two Chinese bakeries, and had not two but five pastries. Needless to say, I felt even worse. Stomach ache, sugar crash, bloated, etc etc.

Why did I do that to myself? Because I'm feeling sad and sorry for myself for a variety of personal reasons. I'm feeling down, so I turn to the most immediate and reliable form of pleasure I know: food.

This isn't good, not good at all. It's not end-of-the-world bad, especially since I recognize the behavior right away. And it's not even something I think I can realistically stop altogether, because it's simply human nature to do things to make ourselves feel better. But I didn't work out this weekend either, partially because I had a full-ish schedule but partially because I didn't make the time for it.

I love vegetables, and whole grains, and yummy fresh tasty healthy food. I genuinely prefer those foods over refined sugars and other less nutritionally dense foods. 80% of the time. But that other 20%...

You know, some people really swear that the only way to stop themselves from having these small sugar binges is to just cut refined sugar out of their diets entirely. That it's an addiction, and that thinking you can moderate that addiction is fooling yourself. I don't want to believe that those things are true for me. I want to believe that I can have these foods in moderation, work out most of the time, eat well most of the time, and be happy with that.

Okay, I hate to admit it, but I WOULD be 100% happy right now, yesterday's binge and all, if it weren't for the fact that I have this belly. It's not a big belly, it's not, but I carry my weight at my stomach so to me these 5-10 "extra" pounds are really noticeable. I notice them when I sit down and I have to adjust my pants waistband, when I tuck down on my bike and my thighs hit my body on every upstroke, when I wear a thin shirt and I can see the outline of my belly button. Dumb, living-in-LA, looking at fitness model pictures too often sorts of things. Right? Maybe. It's not too crazy to want a better body at least for a while, just to see if I can do it.

But maybe I should hold off on wanting that body until I'm not so sad/stressed, eh?

Okay, time for bed.

New Muscles!

2006-02-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Check out my brand spankin' new swimming muscles! They sure took me by surprise. They are pretty different from my (now languishing) weightlifting muscles.

If noticing brand new and (relatively) well defined muscles is my reward for eating clean for a day, I'll eat clean every day!

Breakfast gauntlet of the day: doughnuts. Wheat toast once again triumphed.

Bad eating, Good swimming

2006-02-06T09:23:00.000-08:00

I've been very lax with my eating lately, and I am tired of feeling somewhat icky all the time. So, in the spirit of small achievable goals, I've pledged that TODAY I'll "eat clean." Those scones in the breakfast buffet almost got me, but wheat toast with tomato slices won the day. Luckily the lunch entree holds little appeal, so sticking to my salad with roasted chicken won't be a problem.

I didn't make it out of bed in time to do both my "short swim" and "short bike" workouts this morning, so I did the swim and plan to do the bike this afternoon (oh, who am I kidding? evening) after work. Inspired by a talk with one of the trainers at the gym on Friday I had every intention of kicking this workout up a notch (BAM!) and doing some interval speed work, but I just wasn't feeling it at all. I was tired, had a lot on my mind, and kept inhaling water because I was thinking about life instead of about swimming. I "put in my time" and did 14 laps in 17 minutes. I did bust out a half-lap sprint a few times, but felt like I swam slow enough on the recoveries to more than defeat any pace gains.

As I was logging the workout and breakfast in fitday.com, I decided to calculate how fast that swim was, just for giggles. I was expecting a number around 30-35 yards per minute, because that's what it felt like: dog slow. So imagine my surprise when I get 41 yards per minute, another new record.

It all feels so backwards to me. Okay, so this training really is paying off. Fast is the new slow. That's fantastic. Yet I don't FEEL faster. And I certainly don't feel more toned or in shape. In fact, early Thursday morning I had to sprint from the bus to catch the Caltrain and I almost felt like I had asthma I was sucking wind so badly. I lamely blamed it on being tired and running up a very steep hill and, um, being tired, but I was very disappointed that all this working out I've been doing didn't translate directly into being able to just charge up that hill at a moment's notice.

Yet, in my heart of hearts I know what the problem is, that missing piece of the puzzle that's preventing me from feeling and performing as well as I could. It's my eating. It's the beer, the cookies, the massive amounts of coffee, the chocolate, etc etc etc. It's the too much fat and simple sugars and not enough protein. I eat enough vegetables and fruit every day. I drink enough water. But I need to cut down on my "cheating" if I want to reach the next level. And I do, I do want to reach the next level.

So today... today I'm eating clean.

Notes

2006-02-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

1. The weekend bloat is almost gone. See? (weight graph at the bottom of the page) Up and down, like a rollercoaster. Wheee! I've done a small amount of stress eating this week, but it's been relatively manageable.

2. I noticed that I have been eating too much fat and not enough protein, so I decided to focus on the protein intake a bit. I re-evaluated my macronutrient targets and tweaked them a bit, to account for the massive amount of cardio I've been doing and will continue to do until the triathlon training is done. Details: 66-76 grams per day = 1.4-1.6 grams per kg body weight, scaled down to restrict my calorie intake. So, 1707-2051 cal/day instead of 2207-2651 I estimate I'm burning up these days, on average. I am wondering if restricting my calorie intake (in order to lose weight) is a good thing to do while training so intensely.

3. Today I decided to replace my long swim workout with a second long biking workout, so this morning for 67 minutes (not counting the 10 minute warmup and 15 minute cooldown) I rode on one of those spinning style stationary cycles they keep lined up against the side wall when they aren't being used for a class. Very long, boring ride. Even the podcast novel I was listening to didn't liven it up much. I need to do more outdoor riding. Oh, and my legs felt like they were made out of lead when I got off that bike. My god, T2 is going to be tough. Now I understand the term "bricks."

4. Here's a quote from a blog I've been reading lately:

I have finally learned to love and respect my body. I take excellent care of it: I exercise regularly, I don't smoke, I stay out of the sun. I eat enough antioxidants to resurrect whatever the hell may be left of Jesus and King Tut. And it pays off: at 52, I have the blood pressure and lipid profile of a healthy ten year old; the bone density and lean muscle mass of an athletic 20 year old. But I still have the body embarrassment of an awkward unpopular seventh grader. Looks like it may take a few more decades to outgrow that garbage.

Weekend Badness

2006-01-30T14:09:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine was visiting me this weekend, and I allowed myself to eat way too much food and neglect exercising altogether. Yummy Indian dinner at Pakwan plus a concert (= drinking) on Friday, brunch at Boogaloo's and dinner at a Korean restaurant in the Tenderloin plus another concert (= more drinking) on Saturday, capped off by Tartine (butter!) and new england clam chowder in a bread bowl on Sunday. Add in two skipped workouts (Friday and Sunday), a coworker's housewarming party followed by a social dinner I wasn't hungry for on Sunday night, and we have a very icky and bloated feeling me on Monday morning.

But I'm such a trooper; I not only did my short swim + short bike workout this morning, I broke my fastest swim record AGAIN. I wasn't feeling very good while doing it, though, so I'm hoping I didn't miscount my laps. :/

I also added and rearranged the bits and bobbles on the right over there. I'm tracking my "2006 in 2006" minutes, and am slightly ahead of the curve to meet that target (34.6 gym exercise minutes on each of the 58 non-holiday weekday days between Jan 23 and April 13 is the target pace). I also calculated my triathlon finish time based my current "best times", and I'm so glad I did because it points out that cycling, not swimming, is my big clear obvious weak spot. I've been skipping a lot of long biking workouts because they are on Fridays, so maybe I should rearrange things a bit for a while so I can get that average speed up.

Functional Exercise

2006-01-27T09:53:00.000-08:00

2006 in 2006 progress: 150 minutes this week (60+30+60). Only workouts done at the gym count for this goal, and exciting unknown prizes await me. Free personal training session, maybe?

I had to ditch today's workout in favor of sleep. :/ I keep meaning to add another meter in the right hand column, but haven't gotten around to it yet. (http post upload size too large to do at work). My training could really use that 61 minute bike ride I was supposed to do today, too. I'll get my run in on Sunday, though.

Good internets: This article from Stumptuous talks about the importance of integrated, lifelike exercise, and I couldn't agree more. It's an older article, but I thought of it when I came across this site about functional exercise on lifehacker.com today.

Triathlons and running a mile in x minutes and bench pressing y pounds is all fine and well, but really we stay in shape so we can carry all our groceries upstairs in one trip, and put that bulky box on the top shelf without fear of dropping it, and break into a run at a moment's notice to avoid getting clipped by a car. We stay in shape so we can keep doing these things for years and years to come.

Faster and Further

2006-01-25T23:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight's Swim: 1025 yards, 26.5 minutes, 38.7 yards per minute, nonstop.

Records, records everywhere

2006-01-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

Swim: Last night I swam 600 yards (12 laps) in 16 minutes = 37.5 yards per minute. My previous "record" pace was 800 yards in 24 minutes = 33.3 yards per minute. It's hard to compare those two workouts, as my overall pace last night may have been slower if I had swam for longer. However, last night was the first swim workout I've done in preparation for this triathlon where I haven't had to stop (albeit briefly) to rest. I swam straight through, only stopping two or three times to cough up some inhaled water, and then only for a few seconds. So progress is definitely being made! Even if FitDay still says 50 yards per minute is "Swimming, crawl, slow (50 yards per min), moderate or light effort." *grrr*

Bricks: Last night was the first night I did a "brick" workout: that's "training on two disciplines during the same workout, one after the other with minimal or no interruption in between, just as you would do in a race." So after my swim I popped out of the pool, toweled off and changed into my cycling gear, and jumped on the stationary bike. I changed quickly, though not at race pace or anything (didn't want people looking at me too strangely), and I still did a 5 minute warmup then a stretch on the bike before I started my real workout, but it was definitely good practice.

Edit:
I forgot to talk about the event that made me want to write this entry in the first place!

Weight: This morning my scale read 145 pounds, my lowest adult weight ever. Whoo Hoo!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2006-01-21T09:49:00.000-08:00

All out of order:

The Ugly
January has been an ugly month. I've had more binge eating days than I'd like to count. Okay, depending on how you count it, there have been about 11. Here's the sad evidence. I can see what's happening, and it's not good. Last year one or two days of overeating would be followed by a day or two of barely eating, as I was listening to my body and things evened out naturally. This month that has only happened once, near the end of December on the chart. As you can see from the averaged numbers, FitDay thinks I'm eating exactly enough food to account for my activity, but I know from experience that I actually need to keep that "Calories Eaten" value lower than the "Calories Burned" value. Even setting my activity level on FitDay to "bed-bound" doesn't fully account for my low metabolic rate. :(

At any rate, the ugly is that I've let this go on for so long, just watching it happen. Watching myself eat when I'm not hungry. Eat out of stress and sadness and discomfort, eat for the sugar's affect on my brain chemicals and eat because I feel sorry for myself. Eat when the food doesn't even make me feel good anymore, when I'm so in tune with my body's signals that I know it's just making me uncomfortable, but so used to the idea that food provides pleasure that I eat anyway. Eat eat eat. This is making it sound like I'm some kind of binge eating depressed maniac. I swear I'm not. I've been "binge" eating only compared to how I'd like to eat, how I've eaten in the past for longish stretches and how I'd like to eat again.

The other part of the ugly is that being in New York for xmas and being sick last week really threw a monkey wrench into my exercise regimen. Add to that a real need to work long hours at work right now, and lots of coffee drinking.

The Good
FitDay, being in touch with my body, having the triathlon as a goal, and setting up 150 lbs as my trigger weight have all helped to get my mind back in the game. I will spend the next month in full healthy mode, no excuses. My ability to compete in the triathlon, not slipping back into unconscious bad habits (so far the bad behaviors are all very conscious), and staying healthy and comfortable (not exercising = creaky knee, too much sugar = bad digestive track and bad skin, too much caffeine = bad sleeping habits, etc); all these are more are at stake. I've done this before, I can do it again. All that delicious food will still be around when I'm done. I can have tiny portions of things I truly want to taste. I can drink, just plan for it. I can make time to work out. I can, and I will.

The goal this month isn't to get to a certain weight, it's to enact a certain set of behaviors.

The Bad
Today is a working Saturday here at work. They feed us here, and are piling on the comfort food to make us feel better. I get in much earlier than most people, so had already had my half-of-a belgium waffle (with banana slices and a touch of maple syrup) and two, count them two small muffins before anyone else in my group got in. I "justified" the second muffin as... well, it doesn't matter. It was justification, pure and simple. I hadn't yet fully decided to buckle down on my behaviors yet.

So what does my boss bring in to help us through this Saturday? Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I had some. I did. But I only had a quarter of a chocolate glazed and half of a original glazed (would have had a quarter of that one too, but the yeast doughnuts are hard to tear apart without mangling. I know, I should have just thrown out half of what I took. No, wait, I shouldn't have taken them at all.)

Add to that my Dine About Town dinner at Rubicon tonight. I'm going to keep that dinner in the front of my mind during lunch today, resisting the onion rings and cookies on the menu. I want to enjoy my Wild Anise Chocolate Mousse relatively guilt free. I've already chosen what items off the Rubicon fixed price menu I'll be ordering and entered those into FitDay (my best guesses, anyway). The muffins and doughnuts "ruined" today's calorie intake and nutritional breakdown, but I'll do some damage control at lunch with a big salad, veggies, and grilled chicken. Then I'll fully enjoy my delicious indulgent dinner, because I'm completely convinced that those sorts of events have to be part of any long-term plan. Big salad for lunch (it's not like I hate salad, after all), indulgent dinner, moderate eating tomorrow. As it should be. The ugly would have been onion rings and cookies at lunch AND an indulgent dinner, after all. :)

Pissing me off today: Fad Diets

2006-01-18T14:43:00.000-08:00

Saw this article in the Google News: Health section.

Limiting flavors may be key to a successful diet
CHICAGO - Forget counting carbs and calories. Obesity researcher Dr. David Katz says the way to lose weight is to limit flavors.

Katz, director of Yale University's Prevention Research Center, says people stop eating when the brain's appetite center registers 'full.' But eating lots of flavors promotes overeating because different sensors must register full for appetite to subside, Katz says.

The typical American diet 'is a mad cacophony of flavors,' Katz said this week during a book-tour stop in Chicago.

Instead, Katz advocates flavor-themed meals - an apple day, for example, or a sesame day, even an occasional chocolate day.

A "mad cacophony of flavors"!?!?!? Has this guy ever seen a sterotypical American meal? Last I checked, American food had a pretty solid reputation as being bland and boring. If "sensory-specific satiety" was a really significant phenomenon I don't think SuperExtraDuper Super Sized Fries would exist, or 72 oz Super Gulps. Most of us with a weight problem eat what's in front of us, even after we're full. That's why big plates, eating ice cream out of the pint, and buffets are evil.

Let's look at a typical suggested day of food:

For “tomato” day, breakfast is a sandwich of two slices of while grain bread, one soft-cooked egg, two slices of tomato and 1 tablespoon of part-skin mozzarella cheese. Morning snack is 12 cherry tomatoes with two tablespoons of hummus. Lunch is tomato and black bean Mediterranean salad in half a whole-wheat pita. Afternoon snack is 12 baked corn chips and one-third cup tomato salsa. Dinner is baked tilapia with tomatoes, olives and capers, cooked bulgur wheat, sauteed cauliflower florets, tossed garden salad with chickpeas. Dessert is peach-blueberry salad.

Total calories: 1,535, 24 percent from fat, 20 percent from protein, 56 percent from carbohydrates; 53 grams fiber; 272 milligrams cholesterol; 2,186 milligrams sodium.

Ah ha! Could it be that people in his "study" lost weight because they actually ate HEALTHIER food? Hm, could be. I somehow doubt there's a "white bread" day. You'll notice that Tomato Day didn't involve a heaping plate of white pasta and tomato sauce. What garbage. They even list the calories for crying out loud! And are capres and olives not flavorful? Will they not fight with the tomato flavor, urging you to eat more and more according to this theory? Come on! The first sentance in the AP article is a crime: "Forget about counting calories" it says. Yet here we go, he has you count out the number of chips you can eat with dinner, limiting your calories. And did anyone else notice the 53 grams of fiber. 53! I bet that would fill you up a lot more than "sensory-specific satiety" does.

Top that off with a paragraph buried deep in the article, that the book recommends 30 minutes of exercise most days, fruits and vegetables, whole grains, fish, etc, and we see that the whole "flavor diet" is a thin sheet over the same boring health advice we all know and love to hate. The article even ends with this: "Whether Katz’s diet works because it limits flavors, or because it promotes healthy eating and exercise, is unclear, Raynor said. 'If you’re eating healthy and exercising, you’re going to lose weight,' she said." *sigh*

What I'm afraid of is the Atkins Effect: people will think they can eat as much food as they want as long as it meets the flavor requirements, leading to lots of pineapple ice cream and not much pineapple shrimp. And shame on the press for not being more critical of this garbage and (probably) basically reprinting the book's press release as the first half of the article.

2006 in 2006

2006-01-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

My gym at work stole my idea! No, not really, but it is awfully similar to the 50,000 seconds of exercise I did in November:

2006 in 2006

This incentive program is to help you achieve your goals and keep you moving over the next 12 weeks...

Program Details:

1. Starts January 23rd ends April 13th
2. Complete 2006 minutes of exercise in 12 weeks (at the club or traveling – when traveling we need proof J contact Stephanie for the travel guidelines)
3. The math: 2006 minutes= 5 days per week x 35 minutes per day OR 3 one hour workouts per week
4. Sign your log sheet every time you complete your workout to get credit for it
5. Everyone who completes the 2006 minutes gets a prize...SUPER special prize!! Prizes to be distributed April 17th

Needless to say I signed up. I wonder what the prizes are...

Plodding Along

2006-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

The holidays were rough with my schedule and waistline, big surprise. Eating and drinking out with friends was frequent and excessive, but eating with my family was moderate and healthy. Healthy eating with my family? Is it possible? My weight problem (partially) stems from bad eating lessons learned at home when growing up, but now that I've fallen into the "ultra-health-nut" role with my family it's easy to say no to anything unhealthy because I'm hyper-aware of trying to be a good influence when I'm around them.

But now the holidays are over and I'm home, pseudo-sick, and struggling to transition back into the healthy regular eating plus triathlon training exercise schedule. I love pleasure as much as everyone else, and the cold weather and sickness and ramping up of pressure at work and prolonged singlehood are making thoughts of coddling myself with food and other pleasurable vices very appealing. I did just that on Sunday night, tasting so many different sweets that my small portion sizes were outweighed by the number of portions.

I'm hovering just south of 150lbs, but a soft 150lbs. Battleplan:
1. For the time being no more coffee at work, just tea.
2. Strinctly limited personal internet time at work. (Easier now that I have internet at home, finally)
3. Eat food that will help me get over this cold.
4. Full nights of sleep are manditory. Using my car to commute is encouraged to realize this goal.
5. Excercise moderately. Yoga, for example.

This cold may actually HELP me get back into the healthy groove, after all.

Longest! But...

2005-12-21T16:29:00.000-08:00

Today was my 20 minute swim. It was warm and lightly raining outside, which actually made for a pleasant temperature in the outdoor pool. I was equipped with my heart rate monitor, I felt good. I estimated I'd swim 16 laps = 800 meters = half a mile = triathlon swim distance. I was psyched.

It was a gruelling 20 minutes. I was never tired per-se, but I didn't even come close to swimming continuously. I kept stopping to catch my breath, then feeling better pretty quickly and getting back to it, just to feel out of breath almost immediately. I still can't figure out why I was breathing so hard. Sometimes I would swim on my back, but I felt like I was going so slow, and I would veer left and right too much.

My heart rate monitor didn't monitor my heart rate very well. Maybe the strap was moving too much, or maybe it didn't like the chlorine? When it did synch up it showed me what I suspected: my heart isn't the limiting factor; I was rarely above 150 bpm.

The whole process actually reminds me of when I started running recreationally three years ago: I would slow to a walk all the time but was never really sure why. Breathing? Boredom? I'm honestly not sure. But with practice and time came the ability to run continuously for 30, 40, more minutes. To just run and run and run, even when I don't feel like it anymore, to just tell my body to keep going as long as the body is still listening to me. Endurance is a very mental thing. I had assumed that since I have built up my running endurance to x minutes it would cross the sport divide, but I guess it doesn't.

Come to think of it, I am fighting this same endurance battle on the biking front. All the biking I've done so far is to get to or from work or errands, to get somewhere that I want to go. But now that I think about it in these terms, there's always a moment around 10 minutes into my rides where I just want to stop pedalling. I don't stop, just slow down, because I have a train to catch or some other compelling goal. But there is no such goal in the pool, just another lap to complete for no immediately apparent reason.

Wow, I feel like I've made a breakthrough in the mental game of this training. How cool! This entry didn't take the path I was planning at all, so now there's no good segue into this very important (to me) bit of information, so I'll just jump straight in:

I kept looking at my heart rate monitor's time display, wishing for the time to go both faster (so I'd be done) and slower (so I'd complete the half mile in time). With about 6 minutes to go I had 4 more laps to complete to hit that goal, so I bucked-up a bit and stopped being so lazy with my effort, and completed with five seconds to spare! I should have been elated, right? But something didn't feel right. I don't know all the statistics, but I just didn't think I should have been able to swim a half mile in 20 minutes with the truly lack-luster performance I put in.

So I went to the gym front desk on my way back to the locker room, and asked the girl there "Are we sure the pool is 25 meters?" and she said "Oh, no, it's 25 yards. We told you meters before, but I looked it up and it's yards."

There we go. I didn't swim 0.50 miles but 0.45 miles. I would have had to swim 1.6 more laps to make it to half a mile, probably taking another 2.5 minutes. I guess that isn't much difference. In fact, I'm tempted to go out there with my super-duper-mega-long measuring tape and measure that sucker myself.

The side meters have been updated appropriately.

Fastest!

2005-12-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

I just ran my fastest mile ever (I think)! 9 minutes, 7 seconds.

Boot Camp Tests	December 1	December 20
1 Mile Run	9:50	9:07
30 Seconds Sit-ups	16	20
30 Seconds Push-ups	25	26

My 1 mile run time actually didn't improve as much as it appears: I sprinted my heart out at the end of today's run, but didn't on the December 1st run. Still, just the desire and motivation to do that sprint is a sign of improvement.

And I really do think that's the fastest mile I've ever run. I never ran just one mile (timed) in high school, I think, which is the last time I was in as good of shape as I am now (last year I was in better strength-shape, but I'm in better cardio-shape now). I think, though, that even back in high school I didn't care about being fast or strong, but about being good at basketball and tennis and other sports, and I didn't connect being fast with being good at those things. I wasn't a very good athlete, in other words. I kind of blame it on bad coaching, actually, though surely part of the blame is on me. That's a full rant for another day.

Tomorrow's Triathlon Training Menu: 20 minute swim. ... I'm already nervous given how tired I was after the 12 minute swim on Monday. I'm trying not to think about it or I'll be defeated before I get in the water.

Triathlon Training

2005-12-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

My triathlon training schedule is based off of this plan I found on beginnertriathlete.com, then modified slightly because the bike and run distances it was designed to train for are slightly different than my race's. Today is day 1.

So!

Today's Menu:
28 min bike
12 min swim

My commute involves 70-80 minutes of biking, broken up into two 15 minute and two 20-25 minute chunks. For today, especially because I don't have all my gym gear here with me, I'm just counting my commuting minutes as my training minutes. In general, though, I shouldn't do that because I can't get a good, focused, sustained effort in while dodging cars and stopping for traffic lights. :)

The swim was fine, though I'm still very slow. 10 laps (500 meters) in 12 min 48 sec, 39 meters per minute, 43 yards per minute. My first lap was about 50 meters per minute. I just couldn't keep that up at all. I can run and run and run, but I look like a dying sloth in the water. :)

Free Food

2005-12-19T09:46:00.000-08:00

I've been working for DW since September 6th; 15 weeks so far. 15 weeks of free food. Well, and lots of other things, but we're going to talk about the free food.

People at work predictably talk about the "DW 15," referring to the number of pounds people often gain after joining the company and having access to the commissary everyday.

Over the past 15 weeks I have instead lost weight, nearly consistently, at a rate of 0.2 pounds per week. There was a blip at Thanksgiving, which almost goes without saying. But since September 6th I've lost 3 pounds. While eating as much free food as I want.

Last night's workout

2005-12-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

My work gym has this bootcamp class. I think I've mentioned it a thousand times already. 1.5 hours of exercise twice a week. Last night's session:

10 min of warm-up and stretching

20 min of: 30 sec stationary bike standing sprint + 30 sec treadmill sprint, repeat. This was HARD!

15 min of calisthenics like medicine ball toss and lunge walking and squats and "running mans", etc., but in a circuit training, no rest periods between exercises kind of way

20 min of running sprint drills like "suicides" and gym laps, etc.

Then, at the very end, because I'm the fastest girl in the group, the instructor challenged me to do a suicide sprint in 30 sec or less. If I didn't make it the entire class would have to do an abs workout. I gave it my all, after an hour and a half of exercise, and made it in 26 seconds!

Then I iced my knee, took a shower, and went home.

That was easily the hardest workout I've had in probably a year. Never overestimate your own ability to push yourself: I like to think that I workout hard on my own, but it's just clearly not true.