Foodaholic

I stumbled on this random blog entry while NOT looking for food/weight related content, but I found it anyway. Her phrase "a high-functioning foodaholic" really resonates with me.

The analogy of food addiction and alcoholism goes deeper for me than her experience, even; I feel like I'm still addicted to overeating certain foods and binge eating, even though I don't do it anymore, and even though what I call a "binge" these days bares little resemblance to how I used to overeat. I feel like I'm just a few life circumstances away from gorging myself back to 191 pounds. One false move, a few too many days without weighing myself or exercising, and I'd be done for.

I'm exaggerating, but only slightly (for the record, I have never had an eating disorder; I'm talking garden variety binge eating, here). I do feel like I'm a fat person masquerading as an average weight person. I see pictures like this and think "when did I get skinny?"

I've talked about this body image dismorphia before (I didn't make that phrase up, though I'm nowhere near "disorder" status). I do try to keep this whole mess in check, partially by admitting that it's true, and by talking about it.